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Cops On Steroids

What a frightening thought. Cops using steroids to bulk up and get the upper hand when dealing with suspects.

In New York City this week six police officers are being investigated for illegally using prescriptions to obtain anabolic steroids for body building. According to law enforcement experts, the prototypical steroid user is in his 30s, white and worried about competing.

The article then describes a cop named Matthew (not his real name) and relays his comments about how he and his fellow cops bulked up so they'd have a better advantage in taking down suspects.

Matthew's case is just one example in an increasing trend among urban police officers working tough beats.

....From Boston to Arizona, police departments are investigating a growing number of incidents involving uniformed police officers using steroids. So-called "juicing" has been anecdotally associated with several brutality cases, including the 1997 sodomizing of Haitian immigrant Abner Louima in New York City.

Matthew eventually got fired, charged and served 23 days in jail.

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    Well.... (5.00 / 1) (#2)
    by kdog on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 02:20:46 PM EST
    that explains the lack of testicles (couldn't resist).

    Seriously though....a badge, a gun, and a side of roid rage is a bad combination.  

    But I'm still against mandatory drug testing.  If a cop can't handle his roids and beats a suspect down, he can disciplined for the beat-down regardless of the roids.  Besides, I want police to be able to smoke reefer without worrying about a drug test, it might mellow them out:)

    That's odd. The article I saw (5.00 / 1) (#4)
    by scribe on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 02:30:56 PM EST
    led with the cops' claim that they were buying roids for enhanced sexual performance, viz.:

    Two city cops are under investigation for allegedly buying illegal steroids through Florida doctors, claiming they needed to boost their sexual performance, law enforcement sources said Wednesday.

    Both cops claimed they got blood tests from legitimate New York doctors and sent those results to Florida doctors advertising treatment on the Internet for low sex drive, the sources said.

    One of the cops bought $2,000 worth of steroid injections from Dr. Robert Carlson, a heart surgeon in Sarasota, Fla., indicted in July as part of a nationwide steroids probe linked to Major League Baseball players and other pro athletes.

    Prosecutors charge Carlson, an employee of Palm Beach Rejuvenation, signed off on thousands of prescriptions for patients he never examined, a violation of New York law.

    Both cops have been suspended pending a review by NYPD brass, sources said.

    Six more city cops are under investigation by the NYPD Internal Affairs Bureau for allegedly buying steroids from an illegal ring operating out of a Brooklyn pharmacy, police officials said.

    As to the "enhance performance" claim, I think they might have been spending their money, um, counterproductively.  But, who knows?

    Figures.... (5.00 / 1) (#5)
    by kdog on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 02:34:01 PM EST
    the cops can't figure out which drugs do what:)

    Parent
    they do seem a tad...............confused. (none / 0) (#8)
    by cpinva on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 03:31:20 PM EST
    from everything i've read, heard and seen, steroids wouldn't be my first, or any, choice as a "sexual enhancement" drug. just the opposite. unless, by "sexual enhancement", they mean to go into a frenzied rage, because they can't perform at all. sounds like a fun date.

    Parent
    Huh (5.00 / 1) (#11)
    by scarshapedstar on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 05:41:21 PM EST
    I wonder, if you plotted steroid abuse versus Taserings, what would the graph look like?

    indeed.... (none / 0) (#12)
    by dutchfox on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 09:54:17 PM EST
    scarshapedstar, exactly. When I read Jeralyn's post, that's the first thing that came to my mind, too. Thanks.

    Parent
    How Stupid (none / 0) (#1)
    by squeaky on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 02:17:22 PM EST
    Bulking up is just for macho visuals. Bulk up enough and the cops won't even be able to comb their own hair.

    With proper training no force should even be necessary, and with proper training an old woman could out maneuver one of these bulked up idiots.

    But (none / 0) (#3)
    by squeaky on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 02:22:42 PM EST
    Proper training means hard physical work and refined mental acuity. I guess they would rather just take a pill while eating doritos, drinking beer, and watching tough guy athletes hit each other on tv.

    Parent
    Talk about tossing me hanging beachballs... (5.00 / 1) (#6)
    by scribe on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 02:41:27 PM EST
    Bulking up is just for macho visuals. Bulk up enough and the cops won't even be able to comb their own hair.

    Macho is what it's about.  Visuals is what it's about.  Not able to comb own hair?  That's why they shave their heads.  That, and to cover the fact that they've got baldness comin' on over the top, really fast!

    With proper training no force should even be necessary, and with proper training an old woman could out maneuver one of these bulked up idiots.

    To these guys, there's no point in being a cop if they can't use force.  Proper training...  I'll talk about that later.

    Proper training means hard physical work and refined mental acuity. I guess they would rather just take a pill while eating doritos, drinking beer, and watching tough guy athletes hit each other on tv.

    The local constabulary must have had some bad PT test results lately, as they've taken to doing group PT in a grassy area of a local park early in the morning.  I see them while walking the dog.  One recent morning, they were out there, "exercising".  I have to say, during the time it took me and the dog to meander around the park on our usual route, about 1/2 mile, those cops sure got some good exercise.  To their jaw muscles.  They stood around and shot the breeze the entire time - I could hear them gossipping like the stereotypical quilting bee.

    They were doing "formation runs" for a while, trying to sing in unison and so on.  Some of their officers were so fat - literally fat - that it reminded me of Homer Simpson on a treadmill.  And, they messed up traffic, too.  But, the numbers of cops showing up have declined as the PT program continues.

    Training?  Fitness?  Nope.

    Funny as all get-out to watch, though.

    Parent

    LOL (none / 0) (#7)
    by squeaky on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 02:50:10 PM EST
    That's why they shave their heads.....

    The quilting circle analogy is also hilarious although those quilters do work some other muscles besides their jaws. Their hands are in great shape, nimble and strong.

    Parent

    You had to see it to believe it. (none / 0) (#9)
    by scribe on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 03:49:34 PM EST
    All they did was stand around and talk.

    Parent
    roid rage (none / 0) (#10)
    by Jen M on Thu Oct 18, 2007 at 04:38:02 PM EST
    or dropping dead

    Neither side effect is good.

    Cops and steroids go together (none / 0) (#13)
    by Aaron on Fri Oct 19, 2007 at 07:12:36 AM EST
    For as long as I can remember, since the 80s, I've known cops who used steroids.  They are one of the primary consumers of steroids, after bodybuilders and pro athletes.  Usually it's the young gung ho ex military types who want to make a name for themselves in departments as tough guys, who keep a large supply of equine growth factor under their beds.  These guys are easy to spot, because they're always pawing the ground and whinning.  

    The officers in the tactical squads, and the swat guys are always trying to bulk up, the intimidation factor having always been a big part of police work.  It's like nuclear weapons on the world stage, the deterrent factor helps prevent a lot of confrontations.