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The Jury Pool From Heaven

By Jeralyn, Section Law Related
Posted on Wed Jan 19, 2005 at 02:05:23 PM EST
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In the truth can be stranger than fiction department:

Defense attorney Leslie Ballin called it the "jury pool from hell." The group of prospective jurors was summoned to listen to a case of Tennessee trailer park violence. Right after jury selection began last week, one man got up and left, announcing, "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite."

When the prosecutor asked if anyone had been convicted of a crime, a prospective juror said that he had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital after he almost shot his nephew. He said he was provoked because his nephew just would not come out from under the bed.

Another would-be juror said he had had alcohol problems and was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer. "I should have known something was up," he said. "She had all her teeth."

Another prospect volunteered he probably should not be on the jury: "In my neighborhood, everyone knows that if you get Mr. Ballin (as your lawyer), you're probably guilty." He was not chosen.

The case involved a woman accused of hitting her brother's girlfriend in the face with a brick. Ballin's client was found not guilty.

Since his client was found not guilty, I think the article should be re-titled, "The Jury Pool From Heaven."

Update: From an unrelated case --I'd call this the opening argument from hell.

A federal prosecutor launched the trial of a cold storage company accused of unsanitary conditions Wednesday by describing a warehouse stocked with millions of pounds of meat as "an amusement park for rats and a house of horrors for the City of Chicago."

"Rodents were allowed to feast on an all-you-can eat buffet," Assistant U.S. Attorney Eric Sussman told jurors in his opening statement at the trial of LaGrou Distribution System Inc. and its former president Jack Stewart. Stewart, 55, is charged in the indictment with conspiring to cover up unsanitary conditions at the 500,000-square foot warehouse that supplied meat and other food products to stores and restaurants throughout the Chicago area.

His attorney was left with this comeback:

.... the number of rats, droppings and nesting materials found by Agriculture Department inspectors was small compared to the vast size of the warehouse.

Enjoy your dinner, Chicagoan readers.

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    The Jury Pool From Heaven | 11 comments (11 topical)
    Re: The Jury Pool From Heaven (none / 0) (#1)
    by desertswine on Wed Jan 19, 2005 at 03:09:50 PM EST
    Well, that brightened up my day. Thanks.

    Re: The Jury Pool From Heaven (none / 0) (#2)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Wed Jan 19, 2005 at 03:17:31 PM EST
    So I was involved in a trial once where a juror was dismissed because he said "I hate the government!" So much for being honest

    Re: The Jury Pool From Heaven (none / 0) (#3)
    by superskepticalman on Wed Jan 19, 2005 at 04:02:38 PM EST
    Having once worked for as a writing/research clerk for a criminal judge in Nashville, here's what I suspect may have happened in Memphis. If Shelby Co., TN, is anything like Davidson Co., TN, jury days for circuit level criminal courts are large cattle calls of prospective jurors one week or so a month. And not only just for criminal trials but civil trials as well. Probably somewhere around 200 people are at the courthouse in a holding area with coffee and snack and soda machines nearby. Nice chairs (maybe), NO television, and just hanging around for their randomized chance to be on a jury. Some folks will spend their entire jury service either hanging out in the marshalling area or trudgeing to the courtroom just to be bumped for one reason or another. My guess is that this incident took place sometime well into the jury pool's tenure downtown, and some folks were getting tired of hanging around. So, the clever ones found each other out, discovered a shared sense of humor, and came up with a variety of explanations for getting off jury duty. Especially in the afternoon, when getting bumped means going home early. Easily the most entertaining rationale was the undercover cop with all of her teeth. Sheesh. Not that the judge can do much about the stories; not nearly enough time to check these things out under the circumstances. Bad part is that the best and brightest potential jurors will copy this to get out