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Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues'

By Jeralyn, Section Crime in the News
Posted on Fri May 06, 2005 at 05:34:13 AM EST
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The lawyer pastor for runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks held a press conference Thursday and read her long- awaited statement of regret. Ms. Wilbanks said she didn't get cold feet. She wanted to get married. She had "other issues." What they are, she's not saying. Nor should she have to.

She also offered to make financial restitution:

Her attorney Lydia Sartain told CNN earlier Thursday that her client intends to "make amends" for the money and time spent on the search.

She apologized. But, of course, for the court of public opinion, presided over by talk show hosts and news anchors who serve as judge and jury, and current and former prosecutors who argue guilt before they know the facts, it's not enough. Did they expect a public self-flagellation? There is no compassionate conservativism in this day and age, there's only blame, retribution, punishment and revenge. Maybe that's all we should expect from inhabitants of the prison nation we've become.

Tomorrow's news likely will be filled with speculation that she was on anti-depressants, stopped taking them for the wedding and flipped out; that she is bi-polar, or some other such rumor. One self-professed "criminal profiler" that I debated on Alan Colmes' radio show this week was certain Ms. Wilbanks suffers from Munchausen's Syndrome (which may not be a real disease.) It's really nobody's business but Ms. Wilbanks' and her family. If you're one of those who got caught up in watching the non-stop coverage last weekend, blame the media, not Ms. Wilbanks.

If the DA charges her, I hope she takes it to trial. And waives the jury. A judge would probably find in ten minutes that she had no criminal intent as required by the false statement statute and that her telephone conversation with the police chief did not constitute the making of a police report.

You can read her text of her statement here.

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    Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' | 19 comments (19 topical)
    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#16)
    by Quaker in a Basement on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:57:31 PM EST
    OK, lemme see if I understand you, Aubrey and Claxton. You're saying that if I decide to "go out for a pack of cigarettes" and I keep right on going, and my wife calls out the police, the highway patrol, mountain rescue, and the national guard, I have to pay the costs? Yeah, yeah, I know, she told the police chief she'd been kidnapped. The search had already been going on for days when that happened. The police were misinformed for about an hour. You're proposing a dangerous precedent here. Suppose a parent takes the kids and runs away from an abusive spouse. Abusive spouse calls the police and asks them to search for the missing family. Is the runaway parent responsible for costs then? Why not?

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#17)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:57:37 PM EST
    Here's what I'm saying, Quaker. If Jennifer Wilbanks had picked up the phone and told her family the truth from the jump--that she had cold feet, got scared, and ran off to have some time by herself--the only problem I would have had would have been that she didn't tell someone in the first place where she was going, or why. If she had picked up that phone and told her family she was okay, and they in turn told the authorities that she was okay, I wouldn't be making any noise about the fact that she disappeared. And I wouldn't expect her to compensate anyone for the time and effort of the search. Bear in mind, I'm taking into account the fact that she planned her disappearance. I would've had even greater empathy for her had she decided to do this on a whim, and I think folks everywhere would have been inclined to be forgiving had she just been honest. Where everyone is up in arms about this--myself included--is that she didn't have enough guts to fess right away about what happened. What would have happened if the police in Albuquerque, or possibly Phoenix, Las Vegas or Denver, just so happened to have found a Hispanic man and a white woman together, driving a van, matching the same general description that Wilbanks gave her family? It would have been exactly as if the Union, SC, police had found that fictional black man that Susan Smith conjured up to cover her heinous and selfish murder of her two little boys. Aubrey hit that on the head, BTW. Let me put this another way. Last summer, two of my nephews stayed with my wife and me for a week. I told them, right off the bat, that they could help themselves to play on my video games. But I also told them, specifically, that there was one system they were not to touch. I had my reasons, but all they needed to know was that I said don't mess with it. One of them did--I won't tell you how I know--but neither of them fessed. If someone had spoken up and admitted to it, I would have scolded them, maybe not let them play any games for a day or so, but that would've been it. Lesson learned, all forgiven, etc. But because no one fessed, neither of them plays any video games when they visit my house now, and they fully understand why. They didn't do as I asked, and they must take responsibility for their actions. Jennifer Wilbanks didn't really owe anyone beyond her family and friends an explanation as to why she split, and had she just been honest with them, we wouldn't be having this discussion now. But she wasn't, and now she's facing a lot of grief for it. That's the consequences of her decision to lie. I can't feel bad for her, at this point. And if John Mason feels strongly enough that he still wants to marry her, even after what she put him through, I can't feel bad for him, either.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#1)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:47 PM EST
    The only issue to Blaghdaddy is "Why hasn't she been charged, at the least with mischief," and why is TL still talking about this? Aren't there any real missing women and children we can concentrate on? Anyone notice the RACE of the Precious Doe who was recently id'd after FOUR years? Anyone surprised?

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#2)
    by kdog on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:47 PM EST
    The media just won't give up this cash cow. Latest reports claim the woman was sexually frustrated, as the fiance is a born-again virgin or some nonsense. If this woman ends up in jail, I've lost all hope in our country. In the old fable "The boy who cried wolf", they didn't send the boy to prison. She learned her lesson, drop it allready.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#3)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:47 PM EST
    There is no compassionate conservativism in this day and age, there's only blame, retribution, punishment and revenge. Maybe that's all we should expect from inhabitants of the prison nation we've become
    I understand this from the story in talking about the DA; but isn't this a lot overbroad. We know nothing about the reactions of her friends and family? Are they being compassionate? Or the general town folk (not the mayor - who seemed reasonable). Are they being compassionate?

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#4)
    by The Heretik on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:47 PM EST
    Blaghdaddy, I have commented on this before over my way. This obsession with smaller "personal" stories, whether it is about a runaway bride or something like Britney Spears getting pregnant deflects attention from more important issues. Is that what people want? Is our attention always drawn to the lowest common denominator?

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#5)
    by jackl2400 on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:47 PM EST
    Ehhhh, TL, your remarks about compassionate conservativism are wide of the mark, IMO. There's good cause to pursue criminal charges against this woman. Yeah, I read her apology and there's some contrition, apology and Jesus lovey-dovey Church talk there, and one can be sympathetic to this stressed out woman pulling a runaway bride shtick, but she went too far and, with the kidnaping alibi and report, committed a social wrong against the Hispanic community which demands some remedial justice.

    If she said she was kidnapped by some white guy, I wouldn't have any problems with dropping the the "filing false police report" prosecution.

    But the gratuitious use of harmful racial crime stereotypes to provide a alibi for one's own mishugas is evil.

    Many people have been wrongfully lynched or imprisoned in America for callous white women making up stories, and even if no such phantom patsy Hispanic was strung up on charges for Ms. Runaway Bride, it certainly would support the stereotype that is harmful to many other similarly situated Latinos.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#13)
    by Quaker in a Basement on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:47 PM EST
    "If he called the authorities ... said he was being kidnapped by Mexicans... & subsequently had 100's of people out looking for him..." Well, that wouldn't be analagous to this situation. The bride-to-be didn't "call the authorities," she called her family who turned the phone over to the chief of police. Her statement about who kidnapped her was one Hispanic man and a white woman. And her "report" didn't lead to a subsequent search. That search was undertaken before. Funny how the story has to be improved before charging the runaway bride begins to make sense. If there's any harm created by her disappearance, it's in the money expended in the search. So let me return to my previous hypothetical question: if her husband-to-be had taken a powder, would we still be talking about charges and jail? Or would we be hearing "free until he says 'I do'?"

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#6)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:48 PM EST
    Yes, but didn't she make up that story after a federal case had been made over her having cold feet? I see a lot of reason to show some compassion to a woman who had been made a huge news story just because she was anxious about getting married. Given the volume of attention being directed towards her, I can understand why she would have paniced. I don't think her actions were right and I'm concerned about the racial ramifications of her excuse, but I don't think there ought to be a criminal case here. The racial question I'm more concerned about is the liklihood that her being white is a large part of why the media paid attention to her disappearance. I think the media has a lot more to answer to than this woman does.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#7)
    by Quaker in a Basement on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:48 PM EST
    Am I the only one who smells a little sexism in the air? Suppose a prospective husband decides, on the eve of his wedding, to catch a ride to Vegas. Would anybody (other than the jilted bride-to-be) call for him to be charged and jailed? Doubt it.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#8)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:48 PM EST
    Quaker, I expanded on the women's studies take on this whole fiasco on an earlier "runaway bride" thread. Definitely a lot of sexism, especially in the vilification by townspeople - she's now marked a "bad" women. Comments on TL by normally moderate folks reinforce this view IMO.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#9)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:48 PM EST
    Quaker.... Would anybody (other than the jilted bride-to-be) call for him to be charged and jailed? If he called the authorities ... said he was being kidnapped by Mexicans... & subsequently had 100's of people out looking for him...(costing thousands of taxpayer's dollars) Yes I think so!

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#10)
    by The Heretik on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:48 PM EST
    I am intrigued by the pull of this story, more and more for what it says about the onlookers to the tale rather than the principals. The bride is sorry, in so many ways. The groom to be wants her back. Oy. TL's comments have been incorporated into more discussion over at On the Runaway Train in the latest in Occult of Personality. There are a variety of issues of the heart and the law, of sex and love aplenty here

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#11)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:48 PM EST
    Only one issue, Heretik (you sick, sick puppy-anyone been to his site?) and that's "How does a not-really-missing woman get so much press? Bill O'Reilly asked the other night a while back, "Missing women in the South- is it an epidemic?" Yeah, Bill, of stupidity...given the number of white women in America, a few missing ones isn't an epidemic, it's called the law of averages...

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#12)
    by kdog on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:48 PM EST
    Gotta sell that ad time, and nothing sells ad time like an epidemic, common sense be damned.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#14)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:49 PM EST
    Sorry, Quaker, but I'm not buying that. What else was her family to think? If you picked up the phone and told someone that you had been kidnapped, don't you think someone would've been on the horn to authorities about it? If they cared anything about you, they would. Even if you said you were okay, they'd do what they'd need to do to make sure you really were. As I said before, I didn't have a problem with Jennifer Wilbanks getting cold feet before going down the aisle. That's not unusual; having some reservations about marriage is normal and healthy, IMO. It was the way she went about it that has folks up in arms, and rightfully so. I'd feel exactly the same way about it if it had been John Mason who had planned his own getaway. Here's the bottom line: Jennifer Wilbanks needs to pay back every dime expended on her search. John Mason would be a fool to marry her. And if they do make it to the alter, then they truly were meant for each other, and will deserve everything that comes their way, good and bad. If only they had read this before they decided to get married, they would've saved themselves a lot of grief.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#15)
    by Richard Aubrey on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:49 PM EST
    If Susan Smith hadn't killed her kids, what would people have been saying about the false report? Oh, I remember. It told us of the unremitting racism in this country. In my experience, attorneys believe in the rule of law. So if she broke a law, she ought to have the appropriate sentence. There is a further issue here, and that is the principle of physics that no object can be in two places at the same time. The searchers--and the money expended--were not in a position to deal with other emergencies and the money is flat gone. This is not a nothing proposition. The financial repayment ought to be a minimum. If anybody in the area was not served, or served later than otherwise would have been the case because of the search, that counts. I don't know how she'd make it up, but it ought not be forgotten.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#18)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:49 PM EST
    Last time I checked, she didn't make any false claims until days after the locals had flown off the handle and the press was making much ado about nothing. It's not her fault the media and town overreacted. Yes, perhaps she should be prosecuted for the false claim, but lets not pretend that her claim had anything to do with the BS media hysteria, nor peoples overreaction. The sexist double-standard also reeks, IMO.

    Re: Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' (none / 0) (#19)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Dec 17, 2005 at 12:58:49 PM EST
    Sorry, Adept, I'm not biting on the sexism angle, either. If John Mason had done that, he would've probably been locked up until he paid up OR been forced to pay up and be locked up on top of it. And although folks in Georgia are some of the nicest around, I wouldn't put it past a few of the more hardy souls to persuade a few more into forming a lynch mob. Whether she made the claim right away or days after makes no difference to me. What's important is that she made the claim. And regardless of what the media and townfolk did afterward, she's still in the wrong. She lied, and that made her position indefensible.

    Runaway Bride Apologizes, She Had 'Issues' | 19 comments (19 topical)