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Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. God Mad?

By Last Night in Little Rock, Section Off Topic
Posted on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 06:47:27 PM EST
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by Last Night in Little Rock

Fires are burning all around Oklahoma City. In Texas, whole towns were burned out. Pray tell us, Revs. Falwell and Robertson: What have these heathens done to bring the fires of hell upon them?

Robertson told us that Katrina's destroying New Orleans was retribution for the fabled Southern Decadence, the "Gay Mardi Gras." Opps. It hit before the gays hit town, and could not kill them for you. Katrina missed San Francisco. What was HE (or is it SHE) thinking? Does God just have bad timing?

He also said that Florida Disney's 1998 Gay Days would bring hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, meteors, and fires to Florida. A hurricane in Florida. Who could have anticipated that? I wonder. But Florida was stolen in 2000 for Bush. That can't be it. Florida is sacred ground, with Jeb in charge. Let's not get too far into that.

Now, the fires of Oklahoma City and Texas, in January? Our vengeful God must be mad about something. Let's see. What shall it be this week?

Both Oklahoma and Texas have adopted your stupid Defense of Marriage Act, while having the 49th and 36th highest divorce rates. Could that be it? The logic of "defending marriage" by barring gay unions still escapes me.

Legalized abortion? Robertson said that Katrina was linked to legalized abortion. Oklahoma in 2004 elected a fanantical (read: actually nuts) antiabortionist to the U.S. Senate: Dr. Tom Coburn who advocates the death penalty for abortionists, while he admitted did them himself as a GP and GYN. Maybe God is mad that Oklahomans are stupid voters. It is, after all, a "Red State."

Texas gave us Tom DeLay, a bug exterminator turned politician turned money launderer, and George W. Bush. What can we say about George W. Bush that hasn't already been said? That's enough to rile up any person with a sense of justice and morality.

Falwell, with Robertson nodding in agreement, blamed 9/11 on the ACLU, abortionists, feminists, gays, and the People For the American way as sharing the blame for our being attacked.

But Falwell, ever the prescient sort, sensing building outrage or merely hearing the open questioning of his sanity, backed off a couple of days later.

Robertson and Falwell both talk about all this being the "end times." When the Rapture comes, can we have your TV networks and mailing lists? All those people left behind will come over to our side for being lied to.

As Bob Hope said: “The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.” And guess who's pissing him off more? What Would Jesus Do? He told us to oust all our oppressive "leaders" because the oppressed will someday rule.

But, then again, maybe it's just dry weather from the myth of global warming?

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    • Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. God Mad? | 16 comments (16 topical)
    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#1)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 07:08:04 PM EST
    But, then again, maybe it's just dry weather from the myth of global warming?
    Well, maybe, if winter wasn't normally the dry season 'round here. On the other hand, we were extremely short on rain last year.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#2)
    by ding7777 on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 08:21:49 PM EST
    It was just a bad aim. GOD meant to hit Dover, Pennsylvania for rejecting creationism.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#3)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 08:24:17 PM EST
    Now, now. If God were behind those fires, they'd be in Crawford.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#4)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 08:28:07 PM EST
    Now...if you really want to know - God is pissed because Oklahomans passed the lottery this year.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#5)
    by demohypocrates on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 09:44:39 PM EST
    Fires burning in Texas and Oklahoma. People losing homes and property. Response? Lets exploit the tragedy and mock Falwell and Robertson for things they have said about things which have nothing to do with whats going on. Congrats y'all, you have exploited this tragedy and have jumped in bed with those you hate. Hope it is comical enough for you sophisticates. I never would have guessed that the bottom had enough scum for your to scrape off, Little Rock, but you are efficient in utilizing it all.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#6)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 10:10:06 PM EST
    First of all, "demohypocrate", it is ironic that you speak with such an overbearing authority when you fail to even spell the word "hypocrite" right. Who is the hypocrite now? Sorry I just had to point that out because it is hard to take you seriously. Secondly, the only people that are "exploiting" this tragedy are Falwell and Robertson. I mean come on now, blaming homosexuals and the entire left wing for natural disasters? Lets get real... grab a mitt and catch a clue, even. Little Rock is merely pointing this out. I applaud anybody who points out the sheer ridiculousness of these fundamentalists.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#7)
    by Che's Lounge on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 10:21:06 PM EST
    I'm sure Robertson, Falwell, et al will find some "transgression" for which this punishment has been wrought.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#8)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 10:24:46 PM EST
    demohypocrates, you are limited to four posts a day.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#9)
    by BigTex on Mon Jan 02, 2006 at 11:09:08 PM EST
    Zonal flow is the main reason that the rain has kept north of TX/OK/NM and the low pressure centers passing north of the area(s) is causing a pressure gradient to be steeper than usual resulting in increased winds. CW states that with active hurricane seasons, with storms penatrating poleward will lead to milder winters because the southerly winds on the back (west)side of the hurricanes will pull cool air out of the source region(s). Satellite imagry does verify that some cool air was emptied due to some of the late season storms. Also, the counrty had an early cool snap before Christmas, so this combination may have something to do with the zonal flow due to dumping of cool air from source regions. May is emphasized because I know of no study that actually varifies the CW.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#10)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 01:15:43 AM EST
    Who would guess that such things could happen in Oklahoma and Texas? I prophesy that Connecticut will be next. Like the Lord, Pat Robertson works in very mysterious ways! (In fact, Pat is even more mysterious.)

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#11)
    by Jack on Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 04:10:20 AM EST
    It's time for tough love. It is clear not that the the phrase "In God we Trust" on our money; and the similar "under God" in our Pledge of Allegiance; are not protecting us. We must remove these phrases immediately and close all churches. Sometimes getting tough is the only way when dealing with repeat offenders. How many people has God killed? It boggles the mind. Call your member of congress! Send a clear message to God: We will not negotiate with terrorists!

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#12)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 04:45:09 AM EST
    I saw Oks governor on TV asking for federal assistance. Aren't they supposed to be self-reliant in the red states?

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#13)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 06:21:50 AM EST
    Robertson and Falwell are moralistic imbeciles who live every day in dreadful fear that Jesus really is coming back, because if he does, one can only imagine he won't be very happy with the two of them for all the lies and hatred they have been spewingin his name for years. And if you think Jerry and Pat are above claiming that these fires are a form of divine retribution, you are mistaken. They just need to find something they don't like in Texas and Oklahoma (and don't kid yourself that they can't do that) and away they will go.

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#15)
    by jen on Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 08:16:47 AM EST
    Shermbuck Are you and yours alright? How bad is it?

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#16)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Mon Jan 23, 2006 at 02:21:03 PM EST
    Wasn't it Gandhi who stated, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." I wish God would hire better PR staff

    Re: Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. G (none / 0) (#14)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Mon Jan 23, 2006 at 02:27:03 PM EST
    Allen, no this is not the usually dry months of the year for Oklahoma; those would be from late June to early September. We haven't had any percipitation for close to 2 months and we were already way behind in rain totals. Not to mention that this is a very unusually warm winter. I personally think another Dust Bowl is right around the corner. If you live in the OKC area, which I do, you would have seen the odd "clouds" Sunday, Jan. 1. They were comprised of dust and smoke from the wildfires. All day long those of us who ventured out were inundated by the dust. And the close to 40 mile an hour gusts. Lovely. Of course Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell will keep quiet about this since it helps to dispell the myth about the God fearin' red staters. The amount of drugs (meth), child pornography cases, out of wedlock pregnancies, murders, and other assorted "social woes" have always made Oklahoma one of the most hypocritical states to live in. We Okies love to espouse our religious beliefs but never seem to put them into practice, much less think we might deserve some type of punishment for being such horrible people. BTW I have lived here for over 3 decades so I can say whatever I want to about OK, just like anyone else.

    Fires of Hell Burning in Oklahoma and Texas. God Mad? | 16 comments (16 topical)