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Bush's New Cabinet Position: Department of Corruption and Bribery

By Jeralyn, Section Media
Posted on Fri Feb 03, 2006 at 08:23:14 PM EST
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The media must have censored President' Bush's State of the Union Address. Here's what we missed, from The Onion.

"Tonight, by executive order, I am creating a permanent department with a vital mission: to ensure that the political scandals, underhanded dealings, and outright criminal activities of this administration are handled in a professional and orderly fashion," Bush said.

The centerpiece of Bush's plan is the Department Of Corruption, Bribery, And Incompetence, which will centralize duties now dispersed throughout the entire D.C.-area political establishment.

The Scandal Secretary will log all wiretaps and complaints of prisoner abuse, coordinate paid-propaganda efforts, eliminate redundant payoffs and bribes, oversee the appointment of unqualified political donors to head watchdog agencies, control all leaks and other high-level security breaches, and oversee the disappearance of Iraq reconstruction funds. He will also be responsible for issuing all official denials that laws have been broken.

There's more, go over and have yourself a good chuckle.

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    Bush's New Cabinet Position: Department of Corruption and Bribery | 2 comments (2 topical)
    Re: Bush's New Cabinet Position: Department of Cor (none / 0) (#1)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Sat Feb 04, 2006 at 05:39:16 AM EST
    I tend not to think there would be a Department and a Secretary performing these functions, so much as a designated White HOuse coordinator, or "national czar". A cabinet department means that the Secretary might have to answer to Congress, one House of which will occasionally be in the hands of the other party. Can't have that: the Constitution made the President commander in chief of us all. Including and especially Congress. That principle of presidential supremacy is more important than any other. Except maybe for tax cuts.

    Re: Bush's New Cabinet Position: Department of Cor (none / 0) (#2)
    by Edger on Sat Feb 04, 2006 at 06:16:16 AM EST
    Has anyone ever satirized The Onion, I wonder? Oh, sorry, I forgot... Bush does it every day. It just comes naturally. ;-)

    Bush's New Cabinet Position: Department of Corruption and Bribery | 2 comments (2 topical)