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Stupid Criminals of the Week

By TChris, Section Crime in the News
Posted on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 11:43:33 PM EST
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by TChris

The police arrested three Burger King employees in New Mexico who sprinkled marijuana on the officers' burgers. The officers ate half the burgers before discovering the extra ingredient. The officers went to the hospital to be examined; no word on whether they developed a case of the munchies and returned to finish the burgers.

Update: (TL) The employees and Burger King manager are being charged with "possession of marijuana and aggravated battery on an officer, a felony." Talk about over-charging....

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    Stupid Criminals of the Week | 16 comments (16 topical)
    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#3)
    by kdog on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 08:46:18 AM EST
    Battery? That must be an error...what did the burger-flippers do, hit the cop upside the head with a pound-bag or something? Battery..lol. And he went to the hospital...I guess the reefer propaganda campaign is still working. The reefer was safer than the mystery meat dude...trust me on that one. Thanks for the laughs.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#1)
    by jerry on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 09:58:36 AM EST
    Anyone who screws around with food deserves to be charged with a felony.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#2)
    by jarober on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 09:58:36 AM EST
    TChris, would you be happy with restaurant employees deciding to "enhance" food with anything they have lying around? It's not the Marijuana that's at issue; it's the food tampering. I happen to agree with this site on the idiocy of the drug war, but I'm not down with food tampering.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#4)
    by Johnny on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 09:58:36 AM EST
    Gotta love the propaganda. Crazy.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#5)
    by Jen M on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 10:35:13 AM EST
    Food tampering AND slipping somebody a drug against their knowledge/consent Not funny. Doing it to cops? Very stupid.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#7)
    by Gabriel Malor on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 12:40:38 PM EST
    Actually aggravated battery is not always a felony in New Mexico. The author of the article got it wrong.
    N.M. Stat. Ann. § 30-3-5 (2006) Agravated battery
    A. Aggravated battery consists of the unlawful touching or application of force to the person of another with intent to injure that person or another.
    B. Whoever commits aggravated battery, inflicting an injury to the person which is not likely to cause death or great bodily harm, but does cause painful temporary disfigurement or temporary loss or impairment of the functions of any member or organ of the body, is guilty of a misdemeanor.
    C. Whoever commits aggravated battery inflicting great bodily harm or does so with a deadly weapon or does so in any manner whereby great bodily harm or death can be inflicted is guilty of a third degree felony.
    I suspect, though I don't know for a fact, that these fellows come under 30-3-5(B) for the "impairment of the functions of any member or organ of the body." It should be noted that poisoning and other types of food tampering have long been considered an "application of force" bringing such acts within the category of "battery."

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#8)
    by Gabriel Malor on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 12:40:38 PM EST
    Oh and Johnny, the "propaganda" in this case appears to belong to the author of the article.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#9)
    by kdog on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 12:40:38 PM EST
    He was slipped an herb against his will, not a drug...similar to slipping someone some basil or rosemary. You make it sound like he got dosed with LSD. Fair warning...don't eat the brownies at my Christmas party...they are heavily "tampered", and a crowd favorite!

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#10)
    by libdevil on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 12:40:38 PM EST
    They should be charged severely. Trying to drug somebody against his or her will is a heinous crime. (Trying to drug yourself, with your own consent, is an entirely different matter and should be legal.) These guys could have been fired from their job or imprisoned if they'd failed to notice the tampering and later tested positive. I'd imagine the penalty for driving a police cruiser under the influence isn't light. Though there's plenty of irony in that they would be quite honestly arguing that they didn't know how the pot got into their bloodstream.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#6)
    by kdog on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 01:41:14 PM EST
    Anyone who screws around with food deserves to be charged with a felony.
    Jesus H....take it easy. We are talking about herb...about as harmful as oregano. Is "food tampering" the latest hysteria du jour? If you are that concerned...cook it your damn self. If someone is putting rat poison in your burger...that's a felony. Reefer?...that's a special ingredient! I wish the BK clerks by me were as kind!

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#11)
    by kdog on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 01:41:14 PM EST
    Though there's plenty of irony in that they would be quite honestly arguing that they didn't know how the pot got into their bloodstream
    I'll have to remember this story next time I'm tested. "I don't know how this could have happened...I did eat a Whopper last week." A standby to the poppy seed bagel defense.
    These guys could have been fired from their job or imprisoned if they'd failed to notice the tampering and later tested positive
    They'd be getting a taste of their own medicine...drug war medicine. Free the BK 3!

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#12)
    by Talkleft Visitor on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 03:21:27 PM EST
    Sorry people, free choice means free choice. True dat, the drug war is crazy. But for various reasons, some people would prefer not to touch the stuff. I would be pissed off if somebody slipped something in my food without my knowledge. And it would be not so funny if the following had happened.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#13)
    by kdog on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 03:50:11 PM EST
    That's the thing Ogg...if the BK 3 had slipped them a peanut, which could potentially cause harm, they wouldn't be up on felony charges. Of course it's not cool to screw with people's food...but maybe these cops were real jerks, or had busted them previously...who knows. On the food tampering scale, this is rather tame....I mean if I were one of the cops I'd be kind of relieved I didn't find spit. A political theater prank...and a harmless one. I feel no shame in getting a kick out of this, though I probably should.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#14)
    by Sailor on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 04:00:11 PM EST
    Anyone who screws around with food deserves to be charged with a felony.
    Gee, felony charges for all the frankenfoods, all the fast food restaurant owners, and all the agribiz folks who pump hormones and pesticides into their product. OK, I'll go along with that.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#15)
    by kdog on Thu Oct 12, 2006 at 03:31:07 PM EST
    From Burger King's website, these are just the ingredients of the sesame seed bun.
    Enriched Unbleached Wheat Flour (Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour Or Alpha Amylase From Aspergillus Orizae, Niacin, Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate (Vitamin B1), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Folic Acid, Ascorbic Acid), Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup Or Liquid Sucrose, Yeast, Vegetable Oil (Canola And/Or Soy) Or Soybean And/Or Cottonseed Oil, May Contain 2% Or Less Of The Following: Salt, (Vital) Wheat Gluten, Soy Flour, Corn Starch, Yeast Nutrient (May Contain One Or More Of The Following: Ammonium Sulfate, Monocalcium Phosphate, Calcium Sulfate, Calcium Carbonate) Dough Conditioners (May Contain One Or More Of The Following: Wheat Starch, Microcrystalline Cellulose, Sorbitol, Sodium Chloride, Magnesium Stearate, Distilled Monoglycerides, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Ascorbic Acid, Azodicarbonamide, Mono- And Diglycerides, Ethoxylated Mono- And Diglycerides, Calcium Peroxide, Calcium Stearoyl-2-Lactylate, Datem, L-Cysteine), Enzymes, Preservatives (Calcium Propionate And/Or Sorbic Acid), Vinegar, Sesame Seeds. Contains: Wheat and Soy.
    I wouldn't worry about a sprinkle of Ganja fellas...lighten up and take a joke. It's the "Azodicarbonamide" and the "Distilled Monoglycerides" I'd be worried about.

    Re: Stupid Criminals of the Week (none / 0) (#16)
    by ScottW on Thu Oct 12, 2006 at 03:31:07 PM EST
    Any bets on if these servers were high at the time ?? That has got to be one of the dumbest things one could possibly do. From a legal standpoint, can these guys go after BK for damages ? I ask because I always thought one of the greatest scams would be having an inside man spit in your food and go after the company. The inside guy would get fired, and probably a ticket, but you could get a bucket load of cash from jury. I am all for drugs, but giving them to someone w/o consent is deplorable. But it is funny as hell, and if they go to jail, they will be gods.

    Stupid Criminals of the Week | 16 comments (16 topical)