Every bill that goes out of Congress (until The Unit signs one - and he'll have to if he wants a budget), carries these three sections:

Section 1.  No funds of the United States shall be expended upon the consideration, issuance or recordation of a pardon, commutation of sentence, or any other act, however defined or denominated which would negate a plea of guilty to any criminal charge or reduce any criminal sentence, for the following classes of persons:  
(a) those persons employed in the Senior Executive Service;

(b)  those persons employed in positions defined in the "Plum Book" (that book which defines presidential appointees - the patronage list, in so many words);

©  those persons who served in a position designated as an "Assistant to the President".

Section 2.  Any pardon, commutation of sentence, or other act, as stated in Section 1 hereof, considered, issued or recorded after January 20, 2001 in relation to any person listed in subsections (a), (b) or © of section 1 hereof, shall be null and void and of no effect.

Section 3.  No judge, justice or court shall have jurisdiction to consider or rule upon any question involving or relating to any alleged pardon, commutation or act as defined in section 1 hereof which relates to any person listed in subsections (a), (b) or © of section 1 hereof, including by way of illustration but not limitation any challenge to the validity of this act.

I think this pretty well states how we deal with the "Pardon Scooter" nonsense - take away the authority to spend any government money on a pardon for Scooter, and strip the courts of jurisdiction to hear challenges.  If we want to feel merciful, we can add section 4:

Section 4.  As to any person listed in Section 1 hereof, the prohibitions set forth in Section 1 hereof shall expire twenty years and one day after the date which is the later of
(a) the date, certified by the Bureau of Prisons, upon which said person completes any sentence of incarceration or supervised release relating to the conviction for which pardon, commutation or any other act defined in Section 1 is sought; and

(b)  the date, certified by the Clerk of the District Court issuing the judgment of conviction, upon which said person has completed payment of any fine, restitution and/or monetary penalty imposed as a part of, or relative to, said judgment of conviction.

Be a man, Scooter.  Do your time.