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Cheap Shot

Jessica Takes a Cheap Shot:

Misogyny in our midst

By Jessica Valenti

Last week I wrote an article for The Guardian (UK) about online misogyny, using Kathy Sierra's experience as a jumping off point.

One of the things I wrote in detail about in the article was the unbelievable responses to Sierra's story. . . . Sadly, I expected to find these kinds of reactions in certain places on the internet. What I didn't expect was to find them so close to home, and from a progressive "leader" in the blogosphere, no less!

Kos on Kathy Sierra and female bloggers being harassed and getting death threats:

Look, if you blog, and blog about controversial sh*t, you'll get idiotic emails. Most of the time, said "death threats" don't even exist -- evidenced by the fact that the crying bloggers and journalists always fail to produce said "death threats" ...Email makes it easy for stupid people to send stupid emails to public figures. If they can't handle a little heat in their email inbox, then really, they should try another line of work.
. . . Seriously though, it's one thing to argue--as Markos does--that a blogger code of conduct would be ineffective. Fine. But dismissing online misogyny and Sierra's experience (without even bothering to do any research on the subject, to boot) is reprehensible. Though predictable given the source.

Jessica accuses Markos of misogyny for not writing about the misogny issues regarding the Kathy Sierra issue? As Jessica noted, Markos' point is a code of conduct ain't gonna stop it.

Jessica writes:

Implying that women are "whining" about harassment or violence against them and mocking them for taking these threats seriously is just such a sexist cliché. I think the progressive blogosphere deserves better.

I think Jessica knows that Markos meant ANYONE "whining" about it, not just women. That seems deliberately dishonest from Jessica. A very nasty dishonest post imo.

Markos wrote a post that is poorly put together and that wrongly ignored the underyling sexism and misogyny issues. But for Jessica to equate that with misogyny is really beyond the pale.

Markos has made a number of mistakes, imo, on gender issues. Indeed, I have had many a dispute with him over them. But to label him a misogynist is completely over the top and wrong. Frankly, it cheapens the issue. Bad show Jessica.

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    Kos not a feminist (5.00 / 3) (#10)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:01:13 PM EST
    Markos may not be misogynist but he plainly doesn't 'get it'.
     Kathy got disgusting rape and death threats, with photoshopped pictures, on her blog and on others. Her home address was also printed. The police are taking it seriously.

    Just as serious is the fact that the geeks on the blogs (they were technically oriented) not only didn't defend her but many piled on, acting as if death threats was just colorful speech that Kathy should just 'take'.

    Either Kos did not understand the full story (and this does not happen on his site because he has had to deal with these issues before and his site has a system) or he does not get the difference between angry speech and intimidation and physical personal threat. I am sure he understands cross-burning and nooses but somehow rape threats don't matter?

    I like Kos's site but in this instance he is wrong.

    I agree (5.00 / 2) (#11)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:02:52 PM EST
    Your comment is exactly right.

    My point is the accusation of misogyny is a serious opne and not to be carelessly strewn about in the manner Jessica just did.

    Markos is not at all good on gender issues.

    I have argued with him fiercely about the issues.

    Parent

    What accusation? (none / 0) (#94)
    by LarryInNYC on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:23:03 PM EST
    My point is the accusation of misogyny is a serious opne

    Are you talking about this?

    But dismissing online misogyny and Sierra's experience (without even bothering to do any research on the subject, to boot) is reprehensible.

    I don't see (in the material you quoted) any suggestion that Markos is himself "misogynist".  I only see an accusation that his response about reported misogynist behavior was belittling.

    I think that's an accurate description of Markos's post, which was pretty appalling.  Based on what appears to be no personal knowledge whatsoever he accused the complainant of lying about what happened and, although he doesn't use the word, he clearly is given the impression of hysteria.

    I don't see what's wrong or inaccurate in the material you posted.

    Parent

    I see below. . . (none / 0) (#98)
    by LarryInNYC on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:44:34 PM EST
    that other people have made my point as well or better than I have.

    I also see that the argument that the writer called Kos a misogynist is based solely on the title of the article.  That's a pretty slender reed on which to base a case.  I skipped over the title entirely on first read.  Coming back to it, it seems to me that the title simply describes the issue of misogyny on the internet -- the existence of which Markos belittles in the post that gave rise to this whole exercise.

    It's true the article does not specifically exonerate Markos of misogyny but it also does not specifically accuse him of it either.  The reader may be left with the question how Markos's dismissal of the issue compares to the original deeds and I suppose some readers -- especially those schooled in the blogosphere practice of making mountains out of molehills -- might conclude that Markos's position, if not downright misogyny, is decidedly unhelpful.

    I have to put myself in that camp.

    Parent

    I don't know, BTD. (5.00 / 1) (#12)
    by nolo on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:15:11 PM EST
    Markos wrote a post that is poorly put together and that wrongly ignored the underyling sexism and misogyny issues. But for Jessica to equate that with misogyny is really beyond the pale.

    To me, Markos' post had exactly the kind of dismissive air regarding a woman's concerns that I equate with the sort of run-of-the-mill misogyny that women deal with on a regular basis.  But then again, I'm sure Markos would consider me part of the "women's studies set" for saying so.

    I disagree (5.00 / 2) (#13)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:17:55 PM EST
    He was dismissive of death threats.

    It is entirely coincidental that it was a woman receiving them. HE has always been like that about e-mail death threats and the like. No matter who was copalining.

    Markos is clueless in this way - he'll miss the gender issue every time.

    Parent

    BTD (5.00 / 2) (#18)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:25:48 PM EST
    Here I don't get what you're saying....

    Are you saying Kos doesn't 'see' gender and doesn't think death threats are a big deal? That he's just clueless?

    I'll add here to my opinion that the fact it was a woman is a big deal. There were rape threats and photos also. It was easy to pile on a woman and then say she isn't tough enough to play with the big boys.

    So I think anyone who misses the gender issue is more than clueless. It's like saying Imus was being racist without remarking on the misogyny there. He got fired not because blacks complained but because women complained, black and white.

    Parent

    Yep (5.00 / 1) (#20)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:29:10 PM EST
    That is what I am saying and have said consistently about Markos on both issues frankly.

    Being clueless is NOT being a misogynist.

    Parent

    I disagree (5.00 / 1) (#22)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:32:53 PM EST
    that being clueless makes one a misogynist.

    Being a misogynist requires actively advocating and expressing hatred for women.

    Markos does not do that. Well he did one with his "sanctimonious women studies" comment. I excoriated him for that.

    He apologized for it and as far as I know, he has not expressed such a thought again.

    He certainly did not in this post.

    Parent

    more than clueless (5.00 / 2) (#25)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:36:50 PM EST
    I still haven't said he's misogynist. I said he's more than clueless though.

    Parent
    Fair enough (5.00 / 1) (#27)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:44:45 PM EST
    I'm thinking of a word to describe him but I'm still struggling with it.

    You have to understand I have grappled with him a lot on these issues and it can be frustrating but to place him in the misogynist camp is my objection - to wit, that was Jessica's cheap shot.

    Parent

    re: Fair enough (5.00 / 2) (#29)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:50:45 PM EST
    The problem for me is that it is harmful for him to be this 'clueless'. He is very influential and his opinion goes a long way. I almost commented on his original post but there were already so many, with many pointing out his errors and unfortunately quite a few agreeing with him.
    So I hope he gets it. Someday.

    Parent
    All true (5.00 / 1) (#31)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:53:05 PM EST
    And it frustrates me no end.

    But I am for criticism that is fair, honest and accurate.

    I think Jessica was not.

    Parent

    I agree with you! (5.00 / 2) (#35)
    by Militarytracy on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:01:09 PM EST
    If Kos wants to remain Kos through the long haul he is going to have to lose the "clueless" on gender issues because one of these days it will eat his lunch.

    Parent
    Kos is too smart and usually-well-informed (5.00 / 1) (#49)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:37:48 PM EST
    for the "clueless" label to pass the straight face test.  I think his daughter may have a struggle.

    Parent
    How about 'sexism-challenged'? (5.00 / 1) (#51)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:43:48 PM EST
    :)

    Parent
    You must be kidding (5.00 / 1) (#57)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:57:28 PM EST
    Smart people can be completely blind on any number of things.

    I think I am smart I am almost pathologically blinf and clueless about so much.

     

    Parent

    I can't know for sure (none / 0) (#105)
    by Militarytracy on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 09:29:44 AM EST
    but my father has led me to believe that he has such a firm grasp of gender issues because he had a daughter.  Whatever your sex, when a part of your heart is running around outside of your body as a woman it will probably be a new learning experience.

    Parent
    Unfortunately (none / 0) (#106)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 10:12:31 AM EST
    your dad may be a wrong example: most men have daughters. It may add to their protective feelings for certain women but it will not make them enlightened. Having a daughter will not by itself lessen Markos' chauvinism - it could even increase it.

    Parent
    Or another way of looking at this is (5.00 / 1) (#145)
    by conchita on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 10:53:33 PM EST
    Kos may be the one to have a problem - just wait until she takes a women's studies course.  I didn't speak to my father the entire summer after my freshman year at school, that is, after my first women's studies course.

    Parent
    How about. . . (none / 0) (#95)
    by LarryInNYC on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:25:37 PM EST
    I'm thinking of a word to describe him but I'm still struggling with it.

    macho?

    Parent

    my thought as well (none / 0) (#146)
    by conchita on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 10:55:12 PM EST
    i am curious to hear btd's perspective is on this as another hombre.

    Parent
    Kind of amazing, (5.00 / 1) (#46)
    by nolo on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:23:09 PM EST
    but Carolyn and others have pretty much covered anything I'd have to say about it.

    Parent
    Frankly me too (5.00 / 2) (#47)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:26:22 PM EST
    Carolyn and Mary and MT have been excellent.

    Parent
    I long ago tired (5.00 / 4) (#30)
    by Maryb2004 on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:52:44 PM EST
    of the use of the term misogynistic to describe most of the sexist or dismissive behavior that goes on in this world. It makes it too difficult to discuss the underlying behavior, because you end up in an argument as to whether that behavior rises to the level of misogyny.  

    Misogyny is a high standard  - exhibiting hatred or distrust of women.  Certainly Markos doesn't appear to hate women - hatred requires a lot of effort and Markos never exerts enough effort in his dismissal of women's concerns to rise to the level of hatred.  He simply dismisses.   And we could argue until the cows come home as to whether or not he distrusts women.  The mere fact that that he has women front pagers will always preclude any easy conclusion that he distrusts women.

    But of course arguing about whether or not Markos is a misogynist distracts from the real discussion of Markos' behavior in this matter.  

    With respect to your post, Jessica did not base her accusation of misogyny on Markos "not writing about the misogny issues regarding the Kathy Sierra issue" as you say.  Of course he wrote about it.  Just not very well.  She bases it quite specifically on his "dismissing online misogyny and Sierra's experience (without even bothering to do any research on the subject, to boot)".  She makes a case that he was dismissive and that was wrong.  I agree that he was dismissive.  And imo he was wrong. It's a shame she chose to call him a misogynist because it shifted the entire discussion away from what he actually DID to what he allegedly IS and that, imo, is unproductive.

    Not to make too much of this, (5.00 / 1) (#41)
    by nolo on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:18:15 PM EST
    but if Markos doesn't even care enough about these issues to even get to the level of hating, then what do we call this?  It sounds like it could be even worse than misogyny as you've defined it.

    Parent
    You make my point it seems to me (none / 0) (#32)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:54:25 PM EST
    I go further (5.00 / 1) (#34)
    by Maryb2004 on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:00:33 PM EST
    I make your point.  But I think that in focusing on whether or not it was fair to call Markos a misogynist you are contributing to an environment where we get caught up in name calling and defenses against name calling and we don't ever discuss the actual behavior that gave rise to the name calling.  

    I was disappointed in this post. Markos deserved to be called on what he wrote.  She called him on it. As I said, it's a shame she called him a misogynist. Why?  Because it leads to posts like this that focus on Jessica's name calling rather than the weakness in what Markos wrote.  It seems that you find her name calling a much higher offense than his dismissiveness of these types of threats against a woman blogger.

    Parent

    Right of course (none / 0) (#36)
    by Militarytracy on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:06:16 PM EST
    He's going to have to deal with girl stuff and I hope he does it soon.  I'm so tired of clueless men that when I discover they are clueless I think to myself, "Okay, you're an idiot" and I try to find someone else to talk to.  That doesn't always solve the problem though, it just puts it off till tomorrow.

    Parent
    I feel like Al Sharpton (none / 0) (#38)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:10:21 PM EST
    It's my fault Jessica called him a misogynist?

    You'll excuse me if I reject that charge.

    My battles with Markos on gender issues are legion and lengthy.

    I reject what you are insinuating.


    Parent

    The Story (5.00 / 2) (#42)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:18:20 PM EST
    I think she's saying the real story is that Markos (and many of his readers) do not get it. At all. Writing about someone who called him on it and went maybe too far is less important than the fact that someone with huge influence in the progressive blogosphere doesn't understand or care about misogyny.

    Parent
    Perhaps (none / 0) (#45)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:22:36 PM EST
    I am a "blood boiling" type of writer.

    My blood has boiled with Markos on things he has written, not things he omitted in writing.

    Frankly, he did not dismiss the gener issue here. It NEVER OCCURRED to him.

    He has tunnel vision on some things. This e-mail death threat thing is one of them.

    I do believe you have misinterpreted his focus and misunderstand how his mind works.

    Parent

    Where did I say it was your (none / 0) (#43)
    by Maryb2004 on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:18:33 PM EST
    fault that she called him a misogynist?  I didn't.  

    I'm not questioning your bona fides.

    I'm not insinuating anything.  I'm saying that I
    was disappointed that you chose to focus on whether her characterization of Markos as a misogynist was fair or not rather than the underlying issue of a major blogger with great influence being so dismissive of concerns about what happened to a woman blogger.

    And to preempt your response -- you're free to not care whether I'm disappointed.

    Parent

    It was not fair (none / 0) (#44)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:20:44 PM EST
    It was an ugly smear of a cheap shot.

    Jessica should know better than to have used that characterization.

    You're darn right it threw me off track because it was outrageous to me.

    I have been fighting Markos on gender issues forever. And will continue to.

    But he is also a friend and I do bristle to see that kind of ugly false charge levelled at him.

    Parent

    Fair enough (none / 0) (#48)
    by Maryb2004 on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:36:08 PM EST
    And I don't hesitate to say when I think someone has gone off track.

    Parent
    I know (none / 0) (#50)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:38:49 PM EST
    Having suffered your wrath before.

    Date certain anyone?

    Parent

    Lol (5.00 / 2) (#55)
    by Maryb2004 on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:51:31 PM EST
    My wrath?  Believe me, you've NEVER experienced my wrath.   Yet.

    Parent
    Please ask your friend Kos why (none / 0) (#52)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:45:42 PM EST
    he continues to permit diaries featuring photos of unclothed women.  I'm thinking of Rimjob's sports diaries mostly.  

    Parent
    I don;t admin there anymore (none / 0) (#56)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:51:35 PM EST
    as you know.

    Gawd knows I have my beefs with Markos, and most of you know what they are, but I am not my brother's keeper.

    When I was an Admin, theere were no unclothed photos of ANYONE allowed.

    No use of the c-word, no misogny, no racist remarks.

    I can't vouch for that site anymore. I have not been an admin there snce July 2006.

    Parent

    I just noticed the "Bare Necessities" (none / 0) (#67)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 06:17:54 PM EST
    ad here.  Nevermind.

    Parent
    And as a matter of fact (none / 0) (#39)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:16:07 PM EST
    I DO find Jessica's offense the greater one.

    Smears and slander are unacceptable.

    I was going to write about Markos' ERRORS AGAIN!

    Jessica decided to label him a hater of women, a most serious charge.

    You seem to think that is nothing.

    Frankly, you need to look in the mirror on this one.


    Parent

    BTD, you are a champion arguer but give (5.00 / 1) (#53)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:46:39 PM EST
    up on this one.

    Parent
    Huh? (none / 0) (#54)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:49:57 PM EST
    No offense, but where is your argument on this?

    Parent
    You might want to review MissLaura's Feminisms (none / 0) (#58)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:58:28 PM EST
    diary on this issue and the many, many thoughtful comments,  I'm not saying you are wrong--its just that I don't think you'll ever convince us.

    No, the following does not constitute misogny but it is certainly more than being "clueless."  I've read so many things Kos has written dismissing Hillary Clinton's candidacy, and her status as current frontrunner in the Dem race with no explanation.  He ignores the perspective of women participants regarding site management, even though this has been an issue for a long time apparently.  

    Parent

    I think I convinced you (none / 0) (#59)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:59:48 PM EST
    based on this comment.

    Parent
    So, I guess you won't be reading (none / 0) (#60)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 05:04:45 PM EST
    the diary and comments.  Too bad.

    Parent
    I'll read it (5.00 / 1) (#61)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 05:09:39 PM EST
    No need to get all huffy with me.

    Can I make that joke in this charged thread?

    I just did. I hope my track record stands me well.

    Parent

    "AGG" made some terrific comments (5.00 / 1) (#62)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 05:12:39 PM EST
    so its definitely worth your time--skimming, that is.  Very long.

    Good joke.  Be well.

    Parent

    Of course (5.00 / 1) (#63)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 05:18:56 PM EST
    Play the AGG card on me. You know it will always work.

    Parent
    Always save something for the rebuttal. (5.00 / 1) (#64)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 05:21:06 PM EST
    Get a room! (5.00 / 1) (#65)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 05:40:39 PM EST
    :)

    Parent
    Elise? (none / 0) (#66)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 06:04:47 PM EST
    Hi :-) (5.00 / 1) (#70)
    by Elise on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 07:04:18 PM EST
    You're so far over here in the margin! I'll leave a comment below...

    Parent
    Others have said this... (5.00 / 1) (#68)
    by LarryE on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 06:31:23 PM EST
    ...but I'm going to say it anyway.

    Valenti did not call Kos a misogynist. She charged him with dismissing the issue of misogyny. Which he did.

    (And no, the title says nothing of the sort. Since BTD argues that Kos's sneers referred to "everyone" who "whines" and so despite the context had nothing to do with women in particular, he can't argue that the title referred to Kos in particular as opposed to the entire issue of misongyny on the Web.)

    She called such a dismissal "reprehensible." Which it is.

    In a part of her article clipped from BTD's quote, Valenti said Kos implied Kathy Sierra made the whole thing up. Which he did, referring to "so-called death threats" and asserting that "most of the time, said 'death threats' don't even exist" while labeling those who say they have received them as "crying."

    I'm not going to call Kos a misogynist both because I don't know and because I feel no need to thereby defend Valenti against a charge she did not make.

    Except to say this: Contrary to an assertion here, misogyny does not "require actively advocating and expressing hatred for women." It means "hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women." There is no "requirement" for any "active advocacy" of hatred. Words do indeed mean things and should indeed be used properly.

    By that definition, could Kos be called a misogynist based on the linked quotes? I'd say that a case could be made for it.

    Thank you (5.00 / 1) (#71)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 07:04:25 PM EST
    Like BTD, I really do like Markos as a person and as a blogger, but Moulitsas has been proven to be tone deaf on this issue. But BTD's post is based on a faulty premise because Valenti did not call Kos a misogynist!

    As a writer/editor, I think it's safe to say that Valenti came very close to saying just that, but did some very careful wordsmithing to imply without actually inferring (a neat trick that).

    Parent

    You make my case frankly (none / 0) (#69)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 07:04:04 PM EST
    As for your discussion of the title, it simply makes no sense.

    The title is about the progressive blogger IN OUR MIDST.

    I find your argument fatuous frankly.

    Parent

    Are you serious? (none / 0) (#90)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:00:54 PM EST
    "The title is about the progressive blogger IN OUR MIDST."

    BTD, how can you insert your own words in front of Valenti's hed and present it as an argument? IN OUR MIDST could as easily reference all the anonymous emailers harassing Sierra.

    You are doing to Valenti what you claim she's doing to Kos, but frankly, I think she makes her case better than you do.

    I'm sorry you find me to be insulting and that you take my comments personally, but I get paid to read, analyze, interpret, write and edit text, and she did not say the words you keep putting in her mouth.

    I think you have some issues of your own. I read what Kos wrote, and before I read any other posts on it, I wrote that I found his words offensive, but that I thought them based on ignorance, not malice. Ms. Valenti was less charitable, but far more polite than I was.

    If you want to be upset with someone, read my post and then yell at me. But neither Valenti or I have called Moulitsas a misogynist and you really have to stop saying that because it is NOT true just because you keep saying it.

    If it's such an issue for you, why don't you email Valenti for clarification?

    Parent

    The post was about KOs (none / 0) (#91)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:03:17 PM EST
    You want to pretend the TITLE of the post is NOT about the post.

    Fatuous is your argument.

    I have nothing to add. I find your argument simply ridiculous with all due respect.

    Parent

    As for you accusing me of having issues (none / 0) (#92)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:05:33 PM EST
    You just ended our discussion with that.

    You need to learn to attack arguments, not people.

    See, your ARGUMENT is fatuous. NOT you.

    I accuse you of nothing. I charge that your ARGUMENT is ridiculous.

    So we're done as far as I am concerned. I can not go medieval at this blog and I won't. But you head toward the path of personal attack and I won't allow you to do that to me one sided.

    So it is all yours.

    Parent

    Here's how I see it... (5.00 / 1) (#72)
    by Elise on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 07:24:58 PM EST
    because I'm sure you've all been waiting for that. LOL

    I think your post here is a bit unfair to Jessica for all the reasons others above have stated.

    As for Markos-

    I think his post was incredibly insensitive. I don't think that Markos starts out with the intention of dismissing misogyny...but that IS what he did. The thing is, Kathy Sierra's threat wasn't just a death threat. It was a sexually related death threat. It was about her being an outspoken woman...and about the desire of the person doing the threatening to show that he had power over her. I basically viewed it as a mental rape.

    I don't know what sort of death threats Markos receives, but I'm guessing he doesn't get many from people who say they're going to rape him and then kill him...or rape after they kill him. That's what she got.

    And I agree with Markos, for what it's worth...in that I don't think a code of conduct would work. But he really could have found a way to state that he disagreed with her request for a code of conduct among bloggers...without being so insensitive to the specific way in which she was threatened.

    I think Markos is a nice guy in general...and I'm sure he's tired and sleep-deprived...but I don't think he put enough thought into this post before he put it up there. Markos isn't the only one who would do well to put him/herself in someone else's shoes before he puts forward his own interpretation of things.

    Anyway, those are my thoughts on the matter...Markos clearly has some insensitivity when it comes to issues that may effect women differently. I suppose that's only natural since he's not a woman, but he should be aware of his past comments in this vein...and he should try to avoid things like this in the future.

    Not signing on to (none / 0) (#73)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 07:47:22 PM EST
    "tired and sleep-deprived" or "that's only natural since he's not a woman, . . ."  Otherwise--good job and in a conciliatory tone.  

    Parent
    This is interesting (none / 0) (#74)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 07:51:58 PM EST
    ME defending Kos and you attacking him.

    You broke my heart Elise. Threw me over for Obama.

    I'm not over it at all.

    Parent

    Um...I don't see "attack" (none / 0) (#100)
    by Elise on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:59:25 PM EST
    in my comment. I see disagreement. And I would have zero problem saying what I've said above to Markos himself.

    And where did I say I supported Obama? Did you not see me defending Hillary yesterday in a diary? I suppose I support her now too?

    I just don't see the point in attacking the candidates that will most likely win the nomination. I'm not a big fan of circular firing squads. I'd prefer we aim at Republicans.

    Parent

    BTW (none / 0) (#75)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 07:53:35 PM EST
    My endorsement of Dodd made BIG news.

    I got juice baby.

    You wanna take me back NOW?

    Parent

    Link as to first sentence? (5.00 / 1) (#76)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 08:02:00 PM EST
    You doubt my juice? (5.00 / 1) (#77)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 08:10:01 PM EST
    Hotline.

    And the Right noticed.

    You do realize I am joking, or lying, to lure Elise back to me.

    She dropped me like a hot potato.

    Parent

    I did notice that. You should remind her that (none / 0) (#78)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 08:50:37 PM EST
    for, what, an hour, you were wavering towards Obama.  Remember--that David Sirota, who is my friend, but he's so wrong, diary on DK?

    Parent
    BTD, is there such a thing as a blogg clipping (none / 0) (#79)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 08:53:08 PM EST
    service?  How do you know this stuff?

    Parent
    Technorati (none / 0) (#81)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 08:55:49 PM EST
    Love does not triumph (none / 0) (#80)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 08:55:30 PM EST
    Until Obama comes out strong for ending the war through the only means available, not funding it, I must demur on Obama.

    He was good a couple of days. Mostly bad for a year now.

    Parent

    But, won't you be labeled (none / 0) (#82)
    by oculus on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:03:03 PM EST
    a "flip-flopper" if you endorse Dodd, Edwards, [possibly HR Clinton], AND Obama?  

    Parent
    I'm not running for (5.00 / 1) (#83)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:09:54 PM EST
    anything.

    Parent
    Would that be. . . (5.00 / 1) (#96)
    by LarryInNYC on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:32:11 PM EST
    My endorsement of Dodd made BIG news.

    The Chris Dodd who was standing by his man Imus up to the very end?  That Chris Dodd?

    Parent

    So many (5.00 / 1) (#101)
    by Elise on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 11:03:49 PM EST
    boyz...so little time :-)

    Dodd? Really? You know, Dodd and Edwards were "waiting to see" how the Imus thing played out before stating they wouldn't go on his show ever...

    Obama and Clinton both said they'd never go on his show right away.

    I'm just sayin' :-)

    And if I dropped you "like a hot potato"...it might have been because you were buttheaded towards me. I'm not one of those gals you can be mean to and expect her to just put up with it...I've got plenty of guys who'd love to just be nice to me all the time, why do I need to put up with such mean behavior?

    Parent

    So I asked Jessica Valenti.... (5.00 / 1) (#117)
    by Gisleson on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 03:43:05 PM EST
    Since BTD couldn't be bothered to query Jessica Valenti, I took it upon myself to email and ask her flat out if she was calling Markos a "misogynist."

    I wasn't calling Markos a misogynist.  I have no idea if he's a misogynist.  But I certainly think that the arguments in his post (toughen up, she made it up, etc) are arguments often used by misogynists and therefore beneath the level of discourse that should be going on a "progressive" blog.

    Again, a skilled writer can make you think about more things than what they put on the page, and Valenti accomplished just that. She wagged the dog without ever once suggesting whose dog it was.

    BTD, you can either step it down from DEFCON 4, or you can call Valenti a liar. But you really do need to stop putting words into her mouth because that's just not right. She's showing the courage to stand up to our side's most powerful blogger, and her words should be judged as written, and not after being run through a meatgrinder of aggressive misinterpretation.

    That is awful (none / 0) (#119)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 04:05:23 PM EST
    from Jessica.

    She does not know if he is one? But she feels confortable with her title?

    I really am losing respect by the moment for her.

    Parent

    Why don't you get it? (5.00 / 1) (#135)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 08:45:10 PM EST
    Markos should not have dismissed her issues so glibly, nor used sexist rhetoric to do so.

    Parent
    Since no one disagrees (5.00 / 1) (#126)
    by Gisleson on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 05:57:47 PM EST
    ....about the inappropriateness of trivializing Ms. Sierra's situation, it would seem that the bulk of this debate is over Valenti's words. At my request she further clarified her remarks and specifically said that she was not calling Mr. Moulitsas a misogynist. Why is this still such a point of contention?

    BTD has made an allegation that Valenti's post says something that it does not specifically say. He has made no effort to divine intent in a scholarly manner, but has interpreted the post in an arbitrary fashion and refuses to brook any other interpretation. He erupted when I suggested there was no libel, but refuses to engage over the language, instead repeating over and over that Valenti's post means what he has decided it means.

    WTF? Why is BTD INSISTING that Valenti said what she says she did not say?

    Jeralyn, Kos is not mentioned until the fourth paragraph. If he is the subject of the title, that's burying the lede VERY deep in the story.

    I'm sorry, but I think you're both being hyperprotective of Markos at a time when he would benefit more from a swift kick in the backside to remind him not to opinionate when he's caught up in new babyland.

    IMHO, this fight is about something else entirely, and for those of us walking into the middle of this, it's all very bewildering, especially given the YOU ARE WRONG! insta-responses from BTD who has made almost no effort to "listen" to what others are saying.

    Valenti has written a provocative post about misogyny and online culture. It is worthy of being debated, but there has been no debate here, just BTD stomping out every spark of contrary opinion.

    I try to stay out of comments threads but posted to this one because it was clear to me that BTD's post's premise was faulty. Valenti has confirmed that it is. I cannot stress loudly enough that Valenti's post was written so as to NOT say that Moulitsas was a misogynist.

    Since I have secured Ms. Valenti's input into this debate, perhaps BTD could humor me and consult with a Ph.D. in Literature regarding the interpretation of text and what Valenti's words mean. I thought I was an expert in that regard, but since my input has been consistently devalued and impugned, I think BTD owes it to himself to talk to someone he respects who has actual expertise in that area.

    Kos has (again) contributed to a situation that is causing friction within our greater community (George Washington wasn't perfect either). BTD has responded by pouring gasoline on the fire by introducting facts not in evidence. If he wishes to reassert his allegations, he needs to bolster them with some actual discussion, and not this "you're wrong, you're absolutely wrong" thing he's into.

    Valenti did not have to interpret her words but did so at my request. Her original post spoke for itself, and did so in a manner consistent with her subsequent clarification. The burden here is on BTD to walk the rest of us through his logic, because it is not as self-evident as he seems to think.

    To say Markos makes or uses or includes (as opposed to quotes) arguments often used by misognynists is to compare him to a misogynist.  Comparing him to a misogynist is as good as calling him one.  Also, to include the word misogyny and in the title of the post and then use a post by Markos as an example of those who are unsensitive to women is throwing him in with the bathwater. -- Jeralyn

    Jeralyn, your first sentence is clearly not true in every case. Karl Rove uses the propaganda techniques pioneered by Josef Goebbels, but that does not make Karl Rove a member of the Nazi party. Yes, you can interpret Valenti's post in this manner, but you are inferring something that is in fact only implied. A fine distinction, but Valenti spent considerable time on her post and was quite careful in her nuancing. Why would she do this if her intent was to call Markos a misogynist? She respectfully stopped short of doing just that, yet she is being flogged as though she had flamed him instead.

    I value the content provided by this blog and appreciate the work done by Jeralyn and BTD, but I cannot agree with them when I know that they are misinterpreting a nuanced post. Again, I would encourage you to consult a Lit Ph.D. because I am confident you'll get an interpretation very similar to mine. And I promise to never question your understanding of the law, despite your reluctance to credit my lifelong study of the English language and written communications.

    That is just nonsense (none / 0) (#128)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 06:09:36 PM EST
    Are you seriously arguing Kos is NOT the subject of that post?

    You are simply absurd.

    This was not a rehashof her first post. This was about Kos.

    I can not take your arguments on this seriously in any way.

    They are simply ridiculous.

    And I am referring to your ARGUMENTS, not you.

    Parent

    Re: nonsense (5.00 / 1) (#131)
    by Gisleson on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 07:20:45 PM EST
    For starters, you need to correct your post. You have not properly quoted Valenti, removing text without using ellipses and failing to note the separator dividing the mention of Kos from the initial paragraphs.

    Separators have a very useful purpose, especially in blogging. They indicate that the dialogue has just moved on, and that what follows is somewhat different than what came before.

    Here is the full [bowdlerized] text that you have quoted:

    Misogyny in our midst
    By Jessica Valenti | bio

    Last week I wrote an article for The Guardian (UK) about online misogyny, using Kathy Sierra's experience as a jumping off point.

    Last week, Kathy Sierra, a well-known software programmer and Java expert, announced that she had cancelled her speaking engagements and was "afraid to leave my yard" after being threatened with suffocation, rape and hanging. The threats didn't come from a stalker or a jilted lover and they weren't responses to a controversial book or speech. Sierra's harassers were largely anonymous, and all the threats had been made online.

    One of the things I wrote in detail about in the article was the unbelievable responses to Sierra's story. Some thought she "deserved" it, some called her complaints (about getting death threats, imagine!) "whining." Sadly, I expected to find these kinds of reactions in certain places on the internet. What I didn't expect was to find them so close to home, and from a progressive "leader" in the blogosphere, no less!

    [section break]

    Kos on Kathy Sierra and female bloggers being harassed and getting death threats:

    Look, if you blog, and blog about controversial sh*t, you'll get idiotic emails. Most of the time, said "death threats" don't even exist -- evidenced by the fact that the crying bloggers and journalists always fail to produce said "death threats".

    So let me get this straight: blogging about the oh-so-controversial world of software development means you should expect to get death threats. After all, nothing brings out the crazies like tech-talk. And besides, she probably made it all up anyway.

    ...Email makes it easy for stupid people to send stupid emails to public figures. If they can't handle a little heat in their email inbox, then really, they should try another line of work.

    I mean come on, if you can't handle your address and social security number being published along with threats of rape, hanging, suffocation and death--you're a f*cking lightweight.

    Seriously though, it's one thing to argue--as Markos does--that a blogger code of conduct would be ineffective. Fine. But dismissing online misogyny and Sierra's experience (without even bothering to do any research on the subject, to boot) is reprehensible. Though predictable given the source.

    I would say Valenti is calling Kos out for coddling misogynists, not for being a misogynist. You may choose to interpret her words differently, but you may not put words in her mouth to make your point.

    If you want to argue for a different interpretation, please do so. But do not condense her post in nontransparent ways and then dismiss all arguments to the contrary. Your loyalty to Kos has been amply demonstrated. Now you are at the point where a real friend would think, "Gee, I don't think Kos understands how many folks he's P.O.ed with that cavalier and insufficiently researched post, maybe I should drop him an email to let him know."

    I've read Valenti's post approx. two dozen times. I can diagram each sentence and I can walk you through how she makes her argument, the elements of her argument, and what point(s) she is making. I cannot make her post say, "Kos is a misogynist" because it does not say that. You can certainly take that from the post if you choose to, but that does not make you correct. Most English teachers would drop you a letter grade for not respecting the author's intent, however well argued your case.

    This has gone well past the point of being about Valenti and Kos. This thread is about your emphatic refusal to consider that you may have misinterpreted Valenti's words. You have not budged an inch in that regard even in the face of Valenti's denial.

    Valenti has written that she is not calling Kos a misogynist. Further persistence on your part is tantamount to calling Valenti a liar. I do not know how else to interpret your words. If you were Kos's friend, you would seize upon this further communication from Valenti as proof that Kos is not a misogynist. Instead you refuse to budge, insisting that Kos is not a misogynist, and Valenti is a liar for saying she didn't say that.

    Since you are both judge and jury here, you win, but I think you have a lot to learn about public relations.

    Pffft (none / 0) (#132)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 07:28:21 PM EST
    You go with that nonsense if you want.

    I suggest you suck it up.

    Let Jessica upodate her post and I will update mine.

    And keep your condescenscion to yourself.

    I am done with you at the very least.

    You can't take no for an answer I see.

    Parent

    Spelling it out (3.00 / 2) (#15)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:21:49 PM EST
    1. Start thinking in terms of libel since you're obviously not a Comp Lit grad.

    2. Valenti's hed does not say that Markos is a misogynist.

    3. Valenti references Markos but does not specifically call him a misogynist.

    4. Valenti DOES say that Markos is "dismissing online misogyny." She calls that reprehensible.

    5. Valenti says that "implying" certain things is a "sexist cliché."

    Nowhere in Valenti's post does she call Markos Moulitsas a misogynist. I think you would find this a very difficult libel case to try since there is no such offending passage. It is a post ABOUT misogyny, and her disappointment with Markos' response.

    Please read her post again, this time pretending Markos wants to sue her and has asked you to represent him. (Never mind how hard libel is to prove, first look to see if anything actionable exists. I would say not.)

    Enough (5.00 / 1) (#16)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:23:52 PM EST
    Your insulting tone is enough for me to ignore you.

    BTWE, libel is a LEGAL concept, not a comp lit concept. As a media laywer, I know a little about it.

    Here is a phrase for you to google - "of and concerning."

    We're done, you and I. No more substance for you.

    Parent

    Not to mention (5.00 / 1) (#17)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:25:37 PM EST
    Who in hell said anything about libel?

    People like you are incredibly annoying.

    Parent

    Fine, I've been dismissed but you're still wrong (1.00 / 1) (#24)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:35:49 PM EST
    Amazing. You argue with everyone who comments, then take umbrage when I point out there is no there there.

    Any English major could explain to you that Jessica Valenti never once calls Markos a misogynist in her post at TPM. She's using sharp elbows, but she simply does not say what you accuse her of. Break down her post line by line, word by word. She doesn't say what you accuse her of.

    Period.


    reading comprehension 101 (none / 0) (#37)
    by Sailor on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:06:35 PM EST
    TITLE: Misogyny in our midst
    LEDE: Kos

    Example follows
    TITLE: I Hate Racists
    SUBJECT: Don Imus

    DEFINITION: inference

    There will be a test.

    Parent

    Inference (none / 0) (#40)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 04:16:35 PM EST
    But inference is not the same as stating something, and Kos is NOT the lede, three paragraphs elapsing between the hed and the first mention of Kos.

    Valenti uses constructive ambiguity to imply what she does not actually say. That's not exactly the same thing as inference, which typically uses inductive reasoning to build a case.

    Constructive ambiguity, otoh, suggests things without saying them, and does so in a way that is not conclusive. If Valenti's post was given to a class of English majors studying essay writing, you'd get back as many different interpretations as there are students in the class.

    You may choose to infer that Valenti's hed is about Kos, but a close reading of her post would not substantiate that inference.

    I am not trying to be argumentive, simply pointing out that Valenti stopped short of actually calling Moulitsas a misogynist.

    Parent

    Kos out of line (none / 0) (#1)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:42:44 PM EST
    I could not disagree with you more strongly. I like Markos a lot, but he clearly posted without having researched the issue, and I suspect you are equally guilty.

    If you don't understand how bad the Sierra issue is, go to Google and enter "Kathy Sierra" in quotes, and the vulgar four letter word for vagina.

    If 42,000 matches doesn't impress you, I guess you must be blogging from the heart of the sun to be so impervious to misogynist flames and death threats.

    This is NOT like other flame wars. The anti-Sierra stuff is much, much, much worse, and even a 1st Amendment fan like myself cannot countenance these ugly attacks.

    This has next to nothing to do with the ludicrous blogger's rules crap in the Times.

    You think Kos was a misogynist? (none / 0) (#2)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:45:16 PM EST
    Because on every other point you agree with me.

    Did you read what my objection is? Let me repeat it for you - Jessica called Kos a misogynist.

    mi·sog·y·ny (mĭ-sŏj'ə-nē)

    n.
    Hatred of women: "Every organized patriarchal religion works overtime to contribute its own brand of misogyny."

    Are you seriously saying kos was advocating for hatred of women in that post?

    Words have meanings. Please use them properly.

    Parent

    Misogyny (none / 0) (#5)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:50:53 PM EST
    Fine. Then show me where in Jessica's post she specifically calls Kos a misogynist.

    Parent
    The TITLE! (4.50 / 2) (#8)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:55:00 PM EST
    Sheesh.

    Parent
    Also here (none / 0) (#9)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:56:31 PM EST
    Jessica writes:

    Implying that women are "whining" about harassment or violence against them and mocking them for taking these threats seriously is just such a sexist cliché. I think the progressive blogosphere deserves better.

    I think Jessica knows that Markos meant ANYONE "whining" about it, not just women. That seems deliberately dishonest from Jessica. A very nasty dishonest post imo.



    Parent
    How do you come to that conclusion? (none / 0) (#104)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 07:13:11 AM EST
    to say what you "think" she "knows"?  When I read that sentence, I clearly understood it to be a reference to Sierra.  Of course Markos was talking about Sierra.  Valenti extrapolated that to all women.  That may or may not be accurate, but it's certain that Markos was addressing his remarks to Sierra.

    Ask yourself if Markos would have written the same exact post if some MALE blogger had been complaining about death threats and privacy violations.

    Parent

    I KNOW he would have (none / 0) (#129)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 06:12:21 PM EST
    Because HE HAS (none / 0) (#130)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 06:12:37 PM EST
    correction (none / 0) (#3)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:47:39 PM EST
    I just did that Google search again and only got 651 matches. Apparently I didn't put her name in quotes when I did that search earlier, but if you do it without quotes, you'll have a hard time finding unrelated matches.

    Click on some of those matches. Again, this is MUCH uglier than previous flamewars. I have no doubt that both you and Markos have not done your homework on this one, because I doubt very much that either of you accept this kind of hate speech.

    This isn't about misogyny so much as it is about eliminationist rhetoric.

    I have done my homework (none / 0) (#4)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:50:46 PM EST
    Did you read my post?

    Do you see what I am objecting to in Jessica's post? Do you just post commentsd and not read responses?

    Finally, do you know what misogyny means?

    Parent

    cross posting (none / 0) (#6)
    by Gisleson on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:53:04 PM EST
    We're cross posting, which is why you're not following my arguments.

    I'm going out the door now and will check back in later after you've had a chance to read all my comments.

    Parent

    I've read your comments (none / 0) (#7)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 02:54:39 PM EST
    You seem to have not read my post or my comments.

    Parent
    I'm a feminazi (none / 0) (#14)
    by Militarytracy on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:21:05 PM EST
    If you blog people can and will abuse you.  It is a risk and there are a lot of people out there who can get angry about all sorts of things and want to hurt someone.  Abuse is abuse though and when you blog noticeably you can have it ladled on generously.  I don't know why one kind of abuse would be held above others, misogny is a form of abuse but it is not more important than the other abuses that have been applied to other bloggers.  Abuse is abuse and sadly when someone puts themselves out there through blogging they risk having some of that applied to them.  In the past I haven't been very good at dealing with it but I'm getting better and learning.  I'm exposed to some personalities online that probably wouldn't have a thing to do with me in real life.  We all tend to avoid people we can't stand.  We didn't cross paths until I got here.  Online everyone can show up.  When abusers find out what really bothers you though they can keep on pushing that button until the abused freak, it's a game and it isn't important in the grand scheme.  I have to deal with misogynist in other areas of my life, there is no reason why the net will be any different ;).

    more than abuse (5.00 / 3) (#21)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:32:35 PM EST
    MT-
    What was done to Kathy is more than abuse and more than angry speech. It was direct graphic and sexual threats to her person. It was clearly misogyny. And enough to get the police on the case. Death threats are not free speech.

    I don't think Kos hates women- just clueless about what women experience when they enter male strongholds. And clueless about the difference between angry discourse and personal threat.

    Dealing with jerks online is neccesary, but we shouldn't have to put up with intimidation.

    Parent

    I agree that we shouldn't have to (5.00 / 2) (#26)
    by Militarytracy on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:39:17 PM EST
    but I don't think that a bloggers code of conduct is going to touch the people willing to abuse like this one smidge.  They are already leaping and hurtling over all sorts of personal and social boundaries and I think they are way beyond being reined in by a code of conduct.  This is a time when the girls circle wagons and we place that stuff out there and discuss this abuse and teach ourselves further and bring the next generation along.  That is how I perceive we win over misogyny, but I'm Buddhist so I'm way out there in a way :)  My enemy is my greatest teacher sort of thing :)

    Parent
    Carolyn speaks for me (none / 0) (#23)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:35:19 PM EST
    I'm not sure I agree with you (none / 0) (#19)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:26:50 PM EST
    but the issue of other types of abuses and the proposed blogger code of conduct is well taken.

    I made this point about Jimmy Wales, whose site is one of the most abusive there is.

    Parent

    She may have some charges that need to be (none / 0) (#33)
    by Militarytracy on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 03:55:37 PM EST
    filed.

    give me a break dance (none / 0) (#84)
    by Miss Devore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:17:06 PM EST
    it's hilarious to see y'all cockstrutting for the feminist male position.

    Which has always belonged to Madman in the MarketPlace.

    It's about the insights that inform the rhetoric. Not position papers. Not "look at the female FP's I've anointed!"

    Intelligent women and men can discern the difference.

    Heh (none / 0) (#86)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:31:19 PM EST
    In certain circles, that is the CW.

    Welcome back and please stay. Your insights are always interesting and sometimes prescient.

    Parent

    Gisleson and LarryE are correct (none / 0) (#85)
    by amethyst on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:17:57 PM EST
    Valenti does not call Markos a misogynist.  The title refers to the "misogynists in our midst" who send such offensive emails and graphics to women.

    Markos is trying to blow this thing off, thereby adding yet another black mark to his record on women's issues and feminism.

    It's more than merely being "tone-deaf" on these issues; he's actively hostile to them.  What do you expect from someone who was a Reagan Republican.

    Oh please (none / 0) (#87)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:32:07 PM EST
    That's absurd, imo, of course.

    Parent
    absurd? (none / 0) (#103)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 07:07:15 AM EST
    You yourself said above that Markos is way off base when it comes to gender issues.

    Yet somehow you keep defending him.

    Parent

    Nonsequitor (none / 0) (#109)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 10:57:30 AM EST
    Calling him a misogynist is indefensible.

    Your argument that Jessica did NOT is absurd.

    PAy attention.

    Parent

    You're the one who needs to pay attention (none / 0) (#115)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 03:27:50 PM EST
    You are completely wrong.  I said that in an earlier comment.  Guess you weren't paying attention.

    Parent
    Who is the Miogynist in Our Midst? (none / 0) (#120)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 04:09:27 PM EST
    It's "Misogyny in Our Midst" (none / 0) (#133)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 08:41:07 PM EST
    Not "The Misogynist".

    Parent
    Misogyny (none / 0) (#144)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 10:21:12 PM EST
    happens without misogynists?

    Who knew?

    Parent

    My last on this (none / 0) (#88)
    by LarryE on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:45:38 PM EST
    You make my case

    Since I specifically denied your central contention, that Valenti called Kos a misogynist, that's a truly odd response, especially from someone always urging others to "read my words."

    The title is about the progressive blogger IN OUR MIDST

    Actually the title was about misogyny in our midst. You sure about that "reading words" stuff? More importantly, the content was about the reactions to the issue of misogyny. What Valenti said was that she hadn't expected to find attitudes such as Sierra was "whining" in a place "so close to home." She then showed that was exactly the attitude Kos displayed and was clearly astonished by it. Her money quote was "dismissing online misogyny and Sierra's experience (without even bothering to do any research on the subject, to boot) is reprehensible."

    That was not a "cheap shot." It was not "deliberately dishonest," a "very nasty dishonest post," "beyond the pale," or "over the top." It was neither an "ugly smear," "outrageous," nor an "ugly false charge." It definitely was not "slander." And it DID NOT call Kos a misogynist. You are simply wrong. Period.

    makes no sense ... fatuous

    Yes, well, along with all the quotes about Valenti, again a truly odd response, especially from someone so quick to find insult in others' words.

    In our midst (none / 0) (#89)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 09:56:57 PM EST
    was a clear reference to Kos.

    Your argument is fatuous. You MADE my case by denying the obvious.

    Parent

    I know I said... (none / 0) (#93)
    by LarryE on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:20:18 PM EST
    ...that would be my last but I feel obliged to add this PS.

    I tried to be polite even while disagreeing strongly, but apparently courtesy doesn't pay here.

    Your argument is beyond fatuous, it is thoroughly bogus. It is based entirely - entirely - on a pure assumption about the meaning of a title even though that assumed meaning is clearly contradicted by the content of the post. (Your only other attempt at argument was to quote Valenti referring to a "sexist cliché," which is utterly nonsensical unless you are arguing that the terms "sexist" and "misogynist" are synonymous.)

    In defending that vacuous claim, you have sprnkled insults against Valenti and those that have disagreed with you here like candy as a Halloween parade. The only "case" that's been "made" here is that you equate stubbornness with logical argument. And I have no more time for that. Or, on this topic [emphasis quite deliberate], for you.

    Parent

    My previous post... (none / 0) (#99)
    by LarryE on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:44:48 PM EST
    ...was written in anger. I do not retract the arguments made but I do wish to retract the intemperate language.

    Parent
    You are completely wrong (none / 0) (#102)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 07:05:41 AM EST
    Sorry.

    Parent
    take a cue (none / 0) (#97)
    by Miss Devore on Thu Apr 12, 2007 at 10:44:21 PM EST
    We waltzed beneath motionless skies
    all heaven's glory turned in your eyes
    we expressed such sweet vows
    oh till death do us part
    oh till death do us part
    oh-oh
    We waltzed beneath God's point of view
    knowing no ending to our rendezvous
    we expressed such sweet vows
    oh till death do us part
    oh till death do us part
    oh-oh
    oh till death do us part
    oh till death do us part
    oh-oh
    We waltzed beneath motionless skies
    all heaven's glory turned in your eyes
    you pledged me your heart
    till death do us part
    you pledged me your heart
    till death do us part
    till death do us part

    Patti Smith My Madrigal lyrics

    oh and I watched Catch-22 last night:

    "Help the bombadier!"

    "I am the bombadier, I'm ok."

    "Help him"

    Snowden.

    The phenomenon of misogyny (none / 0) (#111)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 11:25:13 AM EST
    is really charged for me.

    I see you got your back up with the thought that you might be called a racist.

    You see my point right?

    No (5.00 / 1) (#112)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 11:35:27 AM EST
    I said my comments were not racist.

    And then I admitted that I, even though I fight it actively, have some misogyny and racism in my own make-up. Because you can't live in our culture and escape it. So I call myself a racist. Hopefully a sensitive aware one.

    I said I don't know where the line is. You obviously feel you do. I think you have been arguing with people here in general agreement that that Kos is insensitive because of some line you think Jessica crossed.

    Words are important - and as a lawyer you seem to believe they have only one meaning. But they don't.

    Parent

    Misogynist has a definition (none / 0) (#113)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 11:43:59 AM EST
    Don't play this game now Carolyn.

    You were great yesterday.

    Don't justify false smears.

    Please do not.


    Parent

    Some perspective (none / 0) (#114)
    by Alien Abductee on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 02:20:43 PM EST
    on the type of trolling Kathy Sierra experienced, from kuro5hin, where they know their trolls (WARNING!! - graphic diary!). I think it explains why Markos is so nonchalant about this incident - because he's come out of an environment where it's understood where this kind of garbage is coming from, what it is (trolling) and what it isn't (a real-life threat). It's a tradition of trolling that uses the threat of sexual violence, and it's only because in this case the target is female that it took on the specific details that it did. Not really anything to do with misogyny at all.

    God, what a disgusting post! (none / 0) (#116)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 03:36:22 PM EST
    Ridiculous, and misogynist in itself:

    The use of a misogynist style compounds the target's sense of victimhood by not only playing into her intrinsic sense of gender inferiority

    Computer nerds doing psychoanalysis.  Lovely.

    Thanks but no thanks.

    Parent

    No thanks (none / 0) (#121)
    by Alien Abductee on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 04:11:54 PM EST
    to a history of trolling discourse among software geeks, the environment that Markos comes out of?

    Well okay.

    Parent

    It's pretty awful (none / 0) (#122)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 04:22:50 PM EST
    But Markos' point was not to critique the threats but to critique the proposed Code of Conduct in response to it.

    I repeat, Markos is not good on gender issues but to call him a misogynist as Jessica did, is despicable.

    Parent

    Of course it's awful (5.00 / 1) (#127)
    by Alien Abductee on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 06:04:13 PM EST
    That's the point of that kind of trolling - to shock and get a reaction. As that post makes clear, the threshold is kinda high to get the desired reaction in that kind of crowd. Markos was criticizing her for over-reacting, but on experience rather than a gender basis I thought.

    I agree a code of conduct for online speech isn't a good idea. Whatever speech is criminal in real life should be criminal online - no other standards to restrict or censor it online. The subculture that accepts that kind of behavior is pretty much a relic now anyway, as shown by the huge reaction to it and abhorrence of it. And maybe one day people will even grow up enough not to want to be heartless and irresponsible to one another online just because they can do it anonymously.

    Parent

    To many of us, (none / 0) (#136)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 08:52:03 PM EST
    a man who is "not good on gender issues" is despicable.  Antifeminism is, for all intents and purposes, misogyny.

    Parent
    Then you are a fool (none / 0) (#139)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 09:16:23 PM EST
    No, he who defends such men is a fool (none / 0) (#141)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 09:21:52 PM EST
    If you insist, you certainly can excuse Markos and indulge him in his lack of awareness with reference to gender issues, but be aware that it makes you look bad.

    Parent
    I'll take that risk (none / 0) (#142)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 09:29:07 PM EST
    as opposed to KNOWING you are someone who wil falsely smaer those who disagree with you.

    You of course would love Jessica's false smear. I understand you perfectly now.

    We're done. Good night.

    Parent

    You didn't notice the misogyny (none / 0) (#134)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 08:43:31 PM EST
    in the post you cited?

    Well, OK.

    Parent

    I noticed it (none / 0) (#138)
    by Alien Abductee on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 09:05:08 PM EST
    I just wasn't so offended I refused to learn something from it.

    Parent
    The only thing to learn from it (none / 0) (#140)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 09:17:11 PM EST
    is "Computer geeks like this guy have a hard time dealing with, and talking about, women".  I knew that already.  

    Parent
    There's that (none / 0) (#143)
    by Alien Abductee on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 09:33:27 PM EST
    But there's also more.

    Like maybe how far outside mainstream "acceptable" that particular subculture operates in terms of this kind of trolling. Like maybe this incident meant something different within the subculture than how it's being seen outside of it.

    But if you're only interested in rooting out "misogyny" and not understanding what's really happened here, go for it. I'm all for a perfect world without misogyny.


    Parent

    I'm interested in rooting out misogyny (5.00 / 1) (#147)
    by amethyst on Sat Apr 14, 2007 at 06:22:54 AM EST
    wherever it exists, including all the twisted little subcultures.  It's not any better when it shows up there.  Personally, I'd rather not have the manners and mores of those subcultures dictate what is acceptable in the rest of the world.

    I've been a woman working in all-male IT environments for twenty years, so believe me, I know whereof I speak.

    Parent

    And I'm interested (none / 0) (#148)
    by Alien Abductee on Sat Apr 14, 2007 at 01:54:50 PM EST
    in bringing in the reality of a situation before drawing generalizations from it or flinging labels and condemnations at individuals over it.

    Bringing in the context of a situation to inform how to take appropriate action is a far cry from approving of it or asking for it to "dictate what is acceptable in the rest of the world."

    You've been very hasty in this thread to condemn people for views they don't hold. If that's how you plan to go about rooting out misogyny you may end up causing more damage than you fix.

    Specifically, this is exactly the type of issue the authoritarians love to latch onto because it gives them a nice moral smokescreen to hide behind to develop the means to censor and control a medium they so far haven't been able to control.

    Speaking as a woman as well, that's of overriding concern to me beyond the misogyny of a limited number of morons. Which I don't think this situation was even about in the first place.

    Parent

    I'm not getting the argument (none / 0) (#118)
    by Jeralyn on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 04:02:16 PM EST
    " But I certainly think that the arguments in his post (toughen up, she made it up, etc) are arguments often used by misogynists and therefore beneath the level of discourse that should be going on a "progressive" blog."

    To say Markos makes or uses or includes (as opposed to quotes) arguments often used by misognynists is to compare him to a misogynist.  Comparing him to a misogynist is as good as calling him one.  Also, to include the word misogyny and in the title of the post and then use a post by Markos as an example of those who are unsensitive to women is throwing him in with the bathwater.

    Jeralyn (2.00 / 1) (#123)
    by Carolyn in Baltimore on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 04:45:56 PM EST
    It depends what your definition of 'is' is.

    Everyone agrees that Markos made an extremely insensitive post. The feminist blogs have covered both Kathy's story and Kos's post dismissing it. Some out and out called Kos a misogynist in less inferential ways than Jessica Valenti. Some just think he's really wrong. I don't really care about Kos or Jessica.

    I do care that Kos enables misogynists by dismissing the valid concerns of women and really any blogger who complains of not just the incivility on certain sites, but the potential of real threats.

    BTD got angry at the criticism of Markos and not directly at Markos. I would feel differently if BTD had also posted a criticism of Kos's insensitivity. Instead he got nasty when his opinion on an opinion piece about another opinion piece was criticized.

    Parent

    Of course (none / 0) (#125)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 04:50:05 PM EST
    I've NEVER ripped Markos on gender issues, except the zillion times I have.

    I am sorry that you do not understand that a false smear is an outrage. I am sorry you don't give a darn about false smears.

    Or maybe just false smears against make Latinos?

    Just sayin'

    Parent

    Oh, Markos can handle it (5.00 / 1) (#137)
    by amethyst on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 08:55:57 PM EST
    He's a big boy.  Anyway, if he can't handle a little heat online when he says something offensive and stupid, then really, be should try another line of work.

    Parent