This piece by Alan Dershowitz made me laugh out loud:

He is a proven hack. Pick one:

hack
     n 1: one who works hard at boring tasks [syn: drudge, hacker]
     2: a politician who belongs to a small clique that controls a
        political party for private rather than public ends [syn:
        machine politician, ward-heeler, political hack]
     3: a mediocre and disdained writer [syn: hack writer, literary
        hack]
     4: a tool (as a hoe or pick or mattock) used for hacking the
        soil
     5: a car driven by a person whose job is to take passengers
        where they want to go in exchange for money [syn: cab, taxi,
         taxicab]
     6: an old or over-worked horse [syn: jade, nag, plug]
     7: a horse kept for hire
     8: a saddle horse used for transportation rather than sport
        etc.
     v 1: cut with a hacking tool [syn: chop]
     2: informal: be able to manage or manage successfully; "I can't
        hack it anymore"; "she could not cut the long days in the
        office" [syn: cut]
     3: cut away; "he hacked with way through the forest"
     4: kick on the arms
     5: kick on the shins
     6: fix a computer program piecemeal until it works; "I'm not
        very good at hacking but I'll give it my best" [syn: hack
        on]
     7: significantly cut up a manuscript [syn: cut up]
     8: cough spasmodically; "The patient with emphysema is hacking
        all day" [syn: whoop]