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Contraband Underpants Found at Guantanamo

In the ridiculous item of the day category, who smuggled underpants to two detainees at Guantanamo? The military wants to know. They accused the detainees' defense lawyers who adamently deny being involved.

Both prisoners were caught wearing Under Armour briefs and one also had on a Speedo bathing suit, items the military said were not issued by Guantanamo personnel or sent through the regular mail, according to a Defense Department letter obtained Friday by The Associated Press.

A spokesman at Gitmo, Army Lt. Col. Ed Bush says this is a very big deal.

"There is no room for error when working in a dangerous environment, and constant vigilance is of the utmost importance," Bush said.

More...

Stafford Smith called the suggestion that he or the other lawyer, Zachary Katznelson, smuggled underwear to prisoners "patently absurd."

"Neither I, nor Mr. Katznelson, nor anyone else associated with us has had anything to do with smuggling 'unmentionables' into these men, nor would we ever do so," he wrote in response the letter.

Stafford Smith noted lawyers are searched when they enter the detention center and a camera monitors them while they visit clients. "The idea that we could smuggle in underwear is farfetched," he wrote in his reply.

Stafford Smith suggested where the military might redirect their investigation.

Under Armour briefs are popular with members of the military and suggested investigators check to see if the offending underwear was purchased at the U.S. Navy base where the prison is housed.

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  • Display: Sort:
    Contraband (5.00 / 2) (#1)
    by atlanta lawyer on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 06:21:40 PM EST
    I heard the contraband underwear was found on suspected Muslim terrorist Hajd D'Salaami, Hous Bin Pharteen, I-Bin Pharteen, and I-Sheet M'Drurz.

    It Is Code (5.00 / 2) (#6)
    by squeaky on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 06:42:04 PM EST
    Speedo, Underwear, Under Armour briefs, and many other carefully coded english words have now been uttered by the unsuspecting Army Lt. Col. Ed Bush to alert al-Qaida sleeper cells as to the latest plan of attack. Crafty devils.

    Just realized the Lt. Col.'s (none / 0) (#7)
    by oculus on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 06:51:33 PM EST
    surname is "Bush."  What is the meaning of all this?

    Parent
    Weird.... (5.00 / 1) (#12)
    by kdog on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 09:14:56 AM EST
    if I was gonna have something smuggled in, it wouldn't be a freakin' speedo.

    Had to be the guards.  I just hope there isn't some Abu Gharib-type sex abuse angle to it.

    Intimate Apparal (none / 0) (#14)
    by squeaky on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 11:12:24 AM EST
    For a lover? What else could it be. Unless it is a fake story meant to justify harsher conditions and to deny access to lawyers.

    Parent
    Don't you think that sometimes the AP (none / 0) (#2)
    by oculus on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 06:22:48 PM EST
    folks just get bored?

    Hey... (none / 0) (#3)
    by Edger on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 06:33:04 PM EST
    They could have been exploding underpants.

    There's a war on terror on, you know? You can't be too careful. These guys are the worst of the worst. Capable of anything, I hear.

    Security depends on Bush. Or Rudy.

    Parent

    Or [beware; banned books]: (none / 0) (#4)
    by oculus on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 06:37:43 PM EST
    OMG (none / 0) (#5)
    by Edger on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 06:39:17 PM EST
    Not Super Diaper Baby?

    Parent
    Well. (none / 0) (#8)
    by Al on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 08:23:24 PM EST
    Obviously the guy with the Speedo bathing suit is planning to swim off the island at the first opportunity.

    are you sure those weren't (none / 0) (#9)
    by cpinva on Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 09:20:08 PM EST
    "special" mormon underwear? if so, i'd say look no further than mitt romney. :)

    Actually, this is a big deal... (none / 0) (#10)
    by Babson on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 03:00:33 AM EST
    GITMO, beloved by Bush, Cheney et al is supposed to be the super duper maxiumum security installation where the super duper evil terrorists are put in order to protect us.

    Bush has spoken many times about how these people are so evil and evil and evil they need to be locked away...

    Yet security is so lax that underpants can be smuggled in?

    Underpants are a lot larger than razor blades, drugs and many other things that probably shouldn't be floating around down there...

    Cheney and Bush? (none / 0) (#13)
    by Edger on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 11:03:45 AM EST
    I'm with you on that.