It isn't suprising that when an old media dinosaur like Newsweek forecasts the future of the internet, what they see looks a lot like old media.

But even if you're expecting garbage, Newsweek has cooked up a surprisingly dismal brew.

Among the five WebMasters who are "changing the face of the internet," the most obvious pick from Newsweek's corporate perspective is probably Hulu, because recycled network TV programs are essential to all carbon-based life-forms.

Your internet future looks a lot like TV, and if one appliance isn't enough for you, the new internet also looks a lot like your cellphone, because Twitter and especially their amazing new feature StockTwits will be there for you. Order your Stock Twit t-shirt from their online store now!

But it's Newsweek's #1 top pick that fulfills their corporate promise to make every feature article nauseatingly banal, and... wait for it... the #1 WebMaster of the Future Internet is...

Tina Brown?

Yup. Tina Brown and her new capital venture with Barry Diller are filling that screaming void in your online-life that only pictures of Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, and Jay Leno can fill, and there they are, right now at 5:31 PM EST on the front page of the Daily Beast!

There's also some of what passes for journalism in the MSM on dailybeast.com, and there may even be lots and lots of it, because "considering that the penny-pinching site is rumored to pay a mere 50 cents per word, you can expect the budget--and talent--to go far."

It may also be worth considering what isn't part of Newsweek's future internet, and the first absence I noticed is...

You and me. We're not there.

And not just us unpaid political bloggers and commenters down here in the reader blogs... YouTube is destined to be replaced by Hulu, and, in general, anything that the little people used to do on the internet will soon be done bigger and better by our corporate masters, and Newsweek is their Prophet!

Now we know.