The Ivy-League Diet

By Jacob Freeze, Section Diaries
Posted on Sat Feb 07, 2009 at 12:46:39 PM EST
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President Obama's economic stimulus has lost so much weight in the last few days that dieters everywhere are flooding Congress and the White House with requests for information about the so-called "Ivy-League Diet," named after an association of degree-granting institutions in New England that granted degrees to President Obama and most of his economic advisers. Thanks to my new job as a busboy at Washington's exclusive Alfalfa Club, I was able to get the inside story from Tim Geithner (Dartmouth '83), Paul Volcker (Princeton '49) and Larry Summers (Harvard '82).

"Excuse my humble self for disturbing your Lordships," I groveled, "but would you please be so kind as to explain the "Ivy-League Diet" that I hear so much about on TV?"

Larry Summers graciously replied.

"It's very simple. We shit on the economy and you eat it."

"Harharhar!!!" said Paul Volcker.

"Harharhar!!!" said Tim Geithner.

And even my humble self joined in the merriment.

"Harharhar!!!"

"What are you laughing at?" said Larry Summers.

"Nothing, your Lordship," I replied. "Enjoy your soup."

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The Ivy-League Diet | 3 comments (3 topical)

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Footnote (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by Jacob Freeze on Sun Feb 08, 2009 at 03:14:49 AM EST

Kbuck added a quote from Larry Summers that makes a beautiful footnote for this diary at OpenLeft:

"I think the economic logic behind dumping a load of toxic waste in the lowest wage country is impeccable and we should face up to that."
-Lawrence Summers

Bob Somerby for one belies the (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by oldpro on Wed Feb 11, 2009 at 11:26:13 AM EST

suggestion that 'the problem' is the Ivy League schools attended by some mighty flawed overachievers currently in the limelight.

However, I'll eat my words if the rumor that Summers is being considered to replace Daschle turns out to be true.

: There are also several other exceptions. (none / 0) (#3)
by Jacob Freeze on Sat Feb 14, 2009 at 12:48:23 PM EST

Obviously the Ivies haven't produced an absolutely unbroken stream of greedy little suck-ups in every graduating class for the last 300 years. There are several exceptions, like Ralph Nader (Princeton '55 and Harvard Law '58), and if you roll back the calendar almost exactly a hundred years, there's also Henry Adams (Harvard 1858).
Otherwise the Ivy League has an almost unblemished record of transforming high-school suck-ups who never made a B or said boo to a goose into self-oiling corporate wheels which will never ever emit a squeak.