A Nebraska resident petitioned a Lancaster County judge to change his name from Jonathan Thomas to Sinner Lawrence Bilskirnir. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Thomas will probably spend the next five years finishing up his felony sentences, a fact that influenced the judge's denial of Thomas' request. Law enforcement and correctional agencies, as well child support enforcement agencies, need to keep track of Thomas, according to the judge. That's fine, but wouldn't it be easier to keep track of Sinner Lawrence Bilskirnir than Jon Thomas?

Thomas asked for the name change “because he is a heathen and Thor is his ‘High God.’” The judge was unimpressed. “Simply because a person is a Christian, a Jew or a Muslim, they do not change their name to Moses,” he ruled. It seems that Moses Malone was fortunate to have parents who made him a Moses from the start.