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Rimshot Open Thread

Via Digby and Howie Klein, Heh:

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.” Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.

“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said. “And you know what individualists like to do.” He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”

[. . .] A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, “especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards.

Open Thread.

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  • Display: Sort:
    a stroke of genius (5.00 / 2) (#1)
    by Dadler on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:37:23 PM EST
    ahem.

    I expected Capt Howdy to be first. (none / 0) (#3)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:39:40 PM EST
    i feel so proud (none / 0) (#9)
    by Dadler on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:02:07 PM EST
    excuse me? (none / 0) (#10)
    by Capt Howdy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:02:54 PM EST
    You resemble that remark . . . (none / 0) (#16)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:11:26 PM EST
    Ahhh (none / 0) (#4)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:43:02 PM EST
    warning (none / 0) (#82)
    by Peter G on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 10:48:42 PM EST
    My antivirus program (Avast!) blocked a Trojan horse coming from your link when I clicked it, BTD.

    Parent
    Jeralyn must be at the jails today. (5.00 / 1) (#6)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:50:07 PM EST


    The cat's away (none / 0) (#7)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:54:30 PM EST
    Good One! (none / 0) (#14)
    by squeaky on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:10:33 PM EST
    lol

    Parent
    Good to see you (none / 0) (#32)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:55:10 PM EST
    You were missed. (none / 0) (#65)
    by KeysDan on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:28:49 PM EST
    Don't forget the Republicans also have a (5.00 / 1) (#25)
    by steviez314 on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:32:25 PM EST
    pro-bestiality candidate (Paladino and his emails).

    Anti-masturbation, pro-bestiality...now THAT'S A BIG TENT PARTY.

    "Interspecies Erotica"... (none / 0) (#29)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:46:59 PM EST
    is the preferred nomenclature...or at least that's what I learned from Clerks II.

    Parent
    File under (none / 0) (#33)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:55:41 PM EST
    Facts learned via kdog

    Parent
    We are probably the only two people (none / 0) (#34)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:03:14 PM EST
    living who saw Clerks II!

    Parent
    It had a couple moments... (none / 0) (#39)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:10:38 PM EST
    that line was one of them.

    1/8 the film "Clerks" was...now that's a classic.

    Parent

    I thought "Clerks" was one of the (none / 0) (#40)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:13:40 PM EST
    funniest movies evah.  Also enjoyed "Slacker."  Same genre.

    Parent
    "Clerks" was... (none / 0) (#44)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:20:21 PM EST
    laugh out loud from start to finish.

    So, where do you stand on the big debate...can any independent contractors killed while working on the Imperial Death Star job be considered innocent victims of the rebel attack?  

    Parent

    No comment. Not a clue! (none / 0) (#51)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:35:55 PM EST
    bad news (5.00 / 1) (#62)
    by Capt Howdy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:24:03 PM EST
    ODonnell loses the wiccans:

    UPDATE: A spokesperson for the neopagan network "The Witches' Voice" who goes by the name "Diotima Mantineia" reached out to the Huffington Post to offer further condemnation of O'Donnell's initial witchcraft remarks. Making the point that there is a "very large pagan community in Delaware," Mantineia called the Delaware Republican's conflation of witchcraft and Satanism "disappointing."

        I really have to question what she is talking about because witchcraft and Satanism are two different things... witches or Wiccans do not believe in Satan. We don't even believe that Satan exist. Satan is a Christian deity of some kind. He is part of the Christian religion not ours. We worship nature; we work very closely with nature. We do not have blood on our altar and we have little to do with Satan. So I don't know what Ms. O'Donnell is talking about. I wonder if she knows what she was talking about.


    All Dems take note (none / 0) (#2)
    by CST on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:37:42 PM EST
    This is how you do it.

    Interesting interview w Bill Clinton on elections and how to fix the economy.  He's still got it.

    Too bad this wasn't all on tv.

    At least somebody still has "it"...:) (5.00 / 1) (#5)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:47:08 PM EST
    "We didn't do anything on third down and couldn't gain anything on first or second down. We couldn't run it, we couldn't throw it. We just sucked."

    Tom Brady-Bundchen

    Parent

    His new 'do (none / 0) (#8)
    by Big Tent Democrat on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 12:55:02 PM EST
    His new wife... (none / 0) (#22)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:27:27 PM EST
    Giselle metro-sexualized him...it's happened to the best of us:)

    Parent
    Say it ain't so, kdog. You have been (none / 0) (#42)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:15:20 PM EST
    metro-sexualed?  I find that hard to believe and I've never met you!

    Parent
    In my past case(s)... (none / 0) (#54)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:49:02 PM EST
    just being gelded in general...no metrosexualization.  Every gelding is different:)

    Parent
    Im not sure what youre referring too (none / 0) (#11)
    by CST on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:03:40 PM EST
    Football was cancelled this week.

    Never happened.

    Parent

    I'm with you. Eli who? (none / 0) (#13)
    by sarcastic unnamed one on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:09:40 PM EST
    Keep your chin up... (none / 0) (#19)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:19:45 PM EST
    it's a marathon, not a sprint...I'm sure it'll be us, you guys, and Miami right down to the wire in the AFC East.  Everybody was talking about the NFC East as the monster division in pre-season...au contraire.

    jondee's Bills are looking at 3-13 I'm afraid, and that's if they get hot:)

    Parent

    I'm not freaking out (none / 0) (#24)
    by CST on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:31:44 PM EST
    yet.

    It's nice to be facing the Bills after a down week (sorry buffalo fans).

    But yea, three turnovers is not something you ever want to see in your QB.  I have faith he'll brush it off and bounce back.

    Feeling strangely guilty about the whole thing since I missed the first quarter to play in a flower patch and as soon as I started watching they started s*cking.  Maybe the football gods wanted me outside yesterday.

    Parent

    There's a reason we keep the Bills around ;) (none / 0) (#26)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:42:21 PM EST
    The Bears beat the Cowboys. (none / 0) (#78)
    by caseyOR on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:36:50 PM EST
    Any Bears' victory is sweet. A win at the expense of Jerry Jones is icing on the cake.

    Nice work on the part of the Jets. Sanchez looked good. Unless yesterday was fluke, it looks like the Jets have a solid QB. And LT's over the top move was gorgeous. Luckily for the Jets, LT appears to have something to prove.

    Parent

    lol!~ that was too funny (none / 0) (#12)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:07:28 PM EST
    yes Tommy, you did suck.

    Parent
    I was ready to drive my car... (none / 0) (#18)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:16:32 PM EST
    into oncoming traffic on the L.I.E. heading home from the Mutts, listening to the first quarter on the car radio...it was "here we go again".

    Then Sanchez went 7-7 on the equalizing touchdown drive and I knew we'd be allright...though Moss' sick one handed touchdown grab as Revis grabbed the hammy was a fright.  

    Cromartie was a beast in his abscence though...my main smokin' man Sean Ellis and Jason Taylor impressed me too.  We're back on track...onto Miami to play for the early division lead.  Woo Hoo!

    Parent

    Hmm, I had more faith than you? (none / 0) (#23)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:29:24 PM EST
    perhaps it's because I had visuals? Or perhaps I was just so happy to get the game and not be stuck watching the Raiders hoping for Jet score updates {grin}

    It was a good solid win.

    Parent

    Sounded like the 5th... (none / 0) (#28)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:45:11 PM EST
    quarter of the Ravens game on the radio...only 3 plays in the 1st quarter?  Yeah, I was panicking.

    Parent
    Oh, dear Lord, the Ravens game was (none / 0) (#55)
    by Anne on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:52:41 PM EST
    a great example of why you should never get away from who you are as a team...

    Ravens held the normally high-octane Bengals offense to five field goals - still have not allowed an offensive touchdown - but they got away from the run - a run that was working - and let Joe try playing with his new toys.  Offensive line looked tired - second road game in less than a week - and I'm starting to think that the vicious hit Flacco took at the start of the Jets game last week shook him up more than he has let on (compare and contrast that no-flag hit on Flacco with the bogus roughing-the-passer call on Suggs yesterday).

    Truth be told, I never expected them to win yesterday - the Bengals seem to have their number, and I knew they didn't have as much in the tank as they would need after that brutal Monday night game.

    The Browns come to town on Sunday - we should be able to win that one, anyway...

    Congrats to your Jets - it's always good to get a win against a division rival!

    Parent

    Wasn't it hot where they were playing? (none / 0) (#56)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:57:40 PM EST
    or was that another game? I was getting confused with all the game ending jumping around they were doing before the start of the Jets game, but I thought it was that game where the announcers were talking about worn out players and the heat . . .

    Parent
    It might have been pretty warm (none / 0) (#69)
    by Anne on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:56:40 PM EST
    for football - and the Ravens were coming off a brutal Monday night road game against the Jets, so I do think they were tired.

    Parent
    kind of poetic in a way (none / 0) (#57)
    by CST on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:58:10 PM EST
    the bengals beat the ravens who beat the jets who beat the pats who beat the bengals.

    Parent
    That makes me dizzy! (none / 0) (#68)
    by Anne on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:54:09 PM EST
    One question - what is the deal with Tom Brady's Justin Bieber hairstyle?


    Parent
    I had to double-take... (none / 0) (#60)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:17:24 PM EST
    when I saw that score, the Bungles?  

    If it wasn't for the Bills, Lions, and entire NFC West I'd say this is gonna be the year everybody finishes 8-8..ultimate parity achieved.

    A 7-9 team might win the NFC West.

    Parent

    So, did my tutoree's man Tomlinson (none / 0) (#36)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:08:33 PM EST
    do well?  Tutoring starts tonight.  Need conversational fodder!

    Parent
    ugh (none / 0) (#38)
    by CST on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:10:02 PM EST
    yes.

    Parent
    Very well.. (none / 0) (#41)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:14:00 PM EST
    LT looks spry...he's splitting the load with MileHi's Hawkeye Shonn Green, so his Charger's numbers days are done, but he's playing like the LT of old...and fired up about it.  His up and over on 4th and inches to ice it was sweet...and he broke a couple big gainers.

    Good to see Shonn bounce back after his disasterous Week 1 too...running over people killing clock late, and holding onto the ball.

    Parent

    Gust remember, starting w/"his up and over (none / 0) (#43)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:18:49 PM EST
    . . ."  Mario's jaw will drop!

    Parent
    it was purdy (none / 0) (#46)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:22:39 PM EST
    so purdy it got a couple replays with commentary about how not all can pull that move. gotta have the legs for it . . . .

    Parent
    Guess I'd better find the video before (none / 0) (#48)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:24:35 PM EST
    4 p.m. p/u.  

    Parent
    from the Jets blog (none / 0) (#52)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:39:36 PM EST
    As for the off-season moves, does anybody want to second guess Mike Tannenbaum tonight?  LT, who was considered by the ESPN intelligentsia a poor substitute for the workhorse, Thomas Jones, was inspired racking up 102 all-purpose yards and, at one point, leaping over the line of scrimmage for a first down on a fourth and inches, while the game was still up for grabs.  He is performing like a Hall of Famer, not a washed up ex-Hall of famer, but a Hall of Famer.  The Patriots, frankly, had no answer for LT.  As for the O-line and Alan Faneca, there were some mistakes today, but Slauson, for the most part, played exceptionally well including a pancake block that sprung LT for a 14 yard gain.
    link

    Parent
    LT does look good (none / 0) (#45)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:20:42 PM EST
    and d*mn happy about being on the field. He's got some good energy.

    Parent
    Kid is hinting he sure would like (none / 0) (#70)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:10:56 PM EST
    to go to a Chargers game.  But cheapest tic. is $54.  His h.s. senior brother told him kids aren't permitted at Chargers/Raiders games!

    Parent
    that's nice (none / 0) (#73)
    by CST on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:18:36 PM EST
    around here it's $100 for nose bleed seats against the worst team in the league.  $75 if you're waaaaaaaaaay in the back and buy early.

    Reasons #1-100 I have never been to a pats game.

    Parent

    Why would he want to go to (none / 0) (#76)
    by nycstray on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:32:00 PM EST
    a Chargers/Raiders game?  {grin}

    they do play at your place on Dec 5th . . . .

    Parent

    I just took him to Chivas USA v. (none / 0) (#77)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:35:43 PM EST
    Chivas GL game--great seats @ $45/seat.  So--not this year.  

    Parent
    Sanchez looks amazingly (none / 0) (#47)
    by jondee on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:23:05 PM EST
    seasoned and poised for a second year guy. REALLY good on the play action; which, if Trent "deer in the headlights" Edwards is any indication, is something that cant be taught. Even after three years. Sanchez is one stud receiver and a less reticent coordinator from really busting loose..

    Parent
    I like this Harley Farger guy... (none / 0) (#15)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:10:38 PM EST
    Seriously though...I thought we got over this when Clinton sh*tcanned Surgeon General Elders for not being anti-reefer, anti-masturbation, and anti-contraception enough...I'm shocked to learn people outside the uber-fringe still have an issue with good old fashioned self-love in the 21st century....ok maybe not that shocked but this is still depressing.

    Nothing more anti troops (none / 0) (#21)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:26:33 PM EST
    out there than dogging love of self.  Many has been the evening of me, a warm bath, candles, and a glass of wine.  O'Donnell is a destroyer of American Military Families.  She is evil.  She advocates the break down and destruction of the United States military family.  She is slime of the worst sort :)

    Parent
    I've got a love... (none / 0) (#27)
    by kdog on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:43:45 PM EST
    thousands of miles away...I hear ya sister, loud and clear:)

    Funny thing is, the O'Donnell brigade don't even want married people gettin' down unless it's for the purpose of reproduction.  Just say your anti-big O, and call it a day ya freaks:)

    Parent

    The children will be beaten (none / 0) (#31)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:53:04 PM EST
    Too much information? I keep thinking (none / 0) (#37)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:09:10 PM EST
    of you and Skype!

    Parent
    I just can't do that (none / 0) (#49)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:26:33 PM EST
    I know people who do.  I mean a girl has to do what she can do to get through.  I just wait, and use what I have on hand :)

    Parent
    "Don't knock masturbation... (none / 0) (#17)
    by Dadler on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:12:20 PM EST
    "...it's sex with someone I love."

    Woody Allen
    "Annie Hall"

    What is the sound of one hand jerking? (none / 0) (#30)
    by jondee on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:51:54 PM EST
    or, as the the sage-poet Ikkyu said: "it sure doesn't FEEL like I'm burning in hell.."

     

    Parent

    A new chapter in the comic memoir blog is up (none / 0) (#20)
    by Dadler on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 01:19:53 PM EST
    So Witches Don't Masterbate ? Good to Know. (none / 0) (#35)
    by ScottW714 on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:07:32 PM EST
    Any other witch related trivia out there I should know about.  Now I am going to go find me a witch in need.

    A witch in need (none / 0) (#50)
    by vicndabx on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 02:34:28 PM EST
    has an itch indeed!

    Parent
    Million Masturbators March (none / 0) (#58)
    by Capt Howdy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:07:26 PM EST
    its a great idea but we have to be focused.  we may only get one shot.

    Saw exhibit on Greek theatre at Getty (none / 0) (#63)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:25:00 PM EST
    Villa Sat.  Learned the satyrs had very special costumes.  For example:  wiki

    A million of these marching would get lots of media attention.

    Parent

    meh (5.00 / 1) (#64)
    by Capt Howdy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:28:21 PM EST
    I can do that wine cup thing.

    Parent
    best satyr (none / 0) (#66)
    by Capt Howdy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:34:04 PM EST
    ever

    The Romans had remarkable taste in garden statuary, such as this 24″ high marble depiction of Pan getting frisky with a member of the genus Capra


    Parent
    The Naples museum is way (none / 0) (#67)
    by oculus on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 03:39:10 PM EST
    at the top of my bucket list.

    Parent
    Big-tent hypocrite (none / 0) (#71)
    by Capt Howdy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:11:39 PM EST
    Congratulations (none / 0) (#72)
    by gyrfalcon on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:15:48 PM EST
    You feel real, real good today, and you deserve to.

    It's interesting the way negative campaigning works, or doesn't, in some states.  Bernie Sanders won the Senate seat here in no small part because his moderate GOP opponent tried to trash him mightily.  Since most of the state had voted for Bernie as our congressman for years and years, they didn't take kindly to having him trashed, even though they weren't yet sure whether they wanted him to move up to senator.  Initially pretty close, the GOPer's polls just went down and down and down.  The further down he got, the more negative he got on Sanders, and the further his polls sank.

    This year, we've got a pretty nasty early campaign going for governor between the state senate [resident (D) and lt. gov., so it'll be interesting to see how that plays out.

    speaking of VT campaigns (none / 0) (#75)
    by CST on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:28:10 PM EST
    were you around for "Spread Fred"?

    The greatest campaign ever.  He won the Republican Primary against a "carpetbagger from MA".

    best part of the whole campaign:

    "The death blow, however, came in a debate on agriculture, during which Fred cross-examined the management consultant. The old man could hardly believe his pendulous ears when the answer to his question, "How many teats does a Jersey cow have?" (four) came back as "six". And so it was that the $200 man beat the $475,000 candidate by 5,000 votes."

    And of course this quote is priceless too:

    "He doesn't have time to finish before his wife, Dottie, sitting in her rocking chair, looks up from the romance she is reading and snaps, "He ain't going to Washington. I hope people aren't fool enough to vote for him.""

    For some reason, whenever I think of VT politics I think of this guy.  What a hoot.  I think my parents still have a "spread fred" bumper sticker somewhere.

    Parent

    Before my time, alas (none / 0) (#83)
    by gyrfalcon on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 11:16:47 PM EST
    But yeah, politics just really works differently here than anywhere else I'm aware of.

    We had our state primary early this year for the first time, middle of August.  Five excellent, nearly indistinguishable Dem. gov. candidates, all running strictly positive campaigns.  All the pundits and analysts were certain it would be a record low primary turnout as a result.  Turned out to be a record high turnout on the Dem side.

    Ended in a near tie, so they had to have a recount, but ALL FIVE Dem. gov. candidates campaigned together until the recount was finished, and all insisted the leader was the presumptive nominee and gave him deference.  As it turned out, he did win the recount, but there were absolutely zero hard feelings.  What an amazing place.

    Parent

    If you can (none / 0) (#84)
    by CST on Tue Sep 21, 2010 at 10:13:32 AM EST
    I would try and rent "A Man with a Plan" which is the movie that made Fred "famous".  It's about a fake political campaign, and preceded the real one.

    It's great political satire with a very VT bent.

    Parent

    OK Go (none / 0) (#74)
    by Capt Howdy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 04:28:08 PM EST
    video with dogs

    whats not to like?

    That is a great video (none / 0) (#81)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 06:27:29 PM EST
    Tom P has the best STFU diary (none / 0) (#79)
    by Militarytracy on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 05:21:09 PM EST
    I've ever read at Orange right now.  I just love me some Tom P.

    Goingnegative in a three-way race (none / 0) (#80)
    by Cream City on Mon Sep 20, 2010 at 05:46:57 PM EST
    works well, if often for the third one (see: Feingold, 1992) -- and even can work in a culture such as yours . . . but not so in standard two-way races, not so much.  We have known this for decades now, so the soon to be ex-mayor's handlers sold him a bill of the wrong goods.  Glad he did so, for your sake, anyway!