Politics in the Zeros has the latest Ashcroft memo--

From: John Ashcroft, US Attorney General

To: Tom Ridge: Department of Homeland Security

Subject: Santa Claus: Threat to the nation

This Santa character. We need to keep an eye on him. He dresses in red and appears to be a ringleader for wealth distribution across the planet, with this giving-away-toys-for-free ploy of his. Seems like a damn Socialist to me. And I find those talking reindeer flying through the sky to be highly suspect. Witchcraft, that's what it is!

However Santa does have a potentially highly useful list of who's been good and who's been naughty. If we could gain control of this list, it could prove useful in our fight against terrorism - and against our political enemies too!

I propose we preemptively arrest this Santa character on some pretext, cruelty to reindeer or violating labor laws by making the elves work without overtime pay. Yes, we will have to arrest him based on those noxious liberal animal cruelty and labor laws, painful as this may be to us - however, hear me out.

We arrest Santa, then lean on him. Sleep deprivation, etc. Let's get that naughty/nice list! Feed it into Department of Homeland Security computers, and I'll bet we'll be able to indict, prosecute and jail tens of thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands!

Have a blessed Christmas!

John Ashcroft

There's more about the Santa Conspiracy, go read. Also, Hessiod at Counterspin has some news of investigations related to Ashcroft.