There was no one waiting or in line at the 10 items or less counter, or express line so she asked the clerk if she could take her and she said yes. A bit later another customer came up and strenuously objected.

"I was bending over getting eight little can goods and I heard, 'Can't you blank, blank, read?' I was like, 'Are you kidding me?'" the woman said.

The man went on to call her fat and ugly. The woman said she called 911. A police officer happened to be in the area.

"He went and called her names and caused in all of my years of law enforcement, a disturbance," Saukville police Officer Barry Effinger said.

The man was issued a citation for disorderly conduct with a $429 fine. This was the man's second such incident investigated by the same officer in two years.

Just like you want those damned health insurers to do!

Love the self checkout AND self-checkin at my library too.

it may or may not notice the pack of skittles

so today I mixed up a cocktail of the no-chew stuff from the pet store (which she often ignores) and equal amounts of thai chili sauce, mexican chili pepper and crushed jalapenos and coated all grabbable surfaces.

Adorable grandpuppy has lots and lots of toys here, but of course, his favorites are the cats' toys, my slippers (replaced now by old flipflops), my wastebasket, and the corner of every rug.

With every day that passes, there are fewer and fewer rugs on the floor -- and more and more wastebaskets up on bookshelves.

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are lying on 100 percent cotton sheets of at least a 300 count, so don't panic; you're not slumming.

8:07 a.m.  Make a high protein breakfast while watching the Today show. Wonder if the stories you've heard about Matt Lauer are true. Decide they must be.

8:45 a.m.  Climb into red Z4 and try not to look too much like Barbie driving one of her accessories as you pull out of your underground parking. Revos or Armanis? Go with Revos.

10:30 a.m. Hair appointment for lowlights and cut. Purchase of Aveda anti-humectant pomade.

1:00 p.m.  Meet someone for whom you only know his waist, chest and penis size from AOL M4M chat for lunch at a hot, new restaurant. Because the maître d' recognizes you from a gay bar, you are whisked past the Christian heterosexual couples who have been waiting patiently for a table since 12:30.

2:30 p.m. "Dessert at your place." Find out, once again, people lie on AOL.

3:33 p.m. Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations' governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic "art" exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.

4:10 p.m. Time permitting, bring about the general decline of Western Civilization and look like you are having way too much fun doing it.

4:30 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest and being so terribly witty.

We were lil' felons...who knew until now?